Starting next week, getting fucked will be as easy as pressing A4. Sex toys will be sold in residence hall vending machines, the culmination of a yearlong bitchfest by the student organization Allied in Whine.
Federal Reserve Chairman Ben Bercranky told a group of 30 students last week that fixing the world’s most severe financial crisis since the Great Depression was simply a matter of guessing randomly, “just winging it” and hoping for the best.
The University announced it caught the author of the @FakeStevenKnapp Twitter account this week, placing the blame on former University President Steven Dough Trachtenbucks during a late-night press conference Sunday.
Monica Lewinsky finished off Clinton and his Global Initiative Saturday, delivering the keynote address to an auditorium of awaiting students.
The high school that infiltrates GW space wrecked part of campus Sunday when the wall-less building’s roof collapsed, damage that emergency responders attributed to flimsy infrastructure.
A deal with the federal government will allow GW to eliminate restrictions on alcohol consumption and recreational drug use in the University’s most detested residence halls.
The Sigma Chi Association struck a hard deal with University administrators this week to lower the cost of water bottles on campus by a staggering 2 cents.