The Marvin Center is the best-kept secret on campus.
April 1, 2015
Stories from the April 1, 2015 issue of the GW Hatchet.
No, not computers. An apple store will open on campus in March 2016. The store will serve McIntosh apples sourced from an orchard in Virginia.
The baseball team showed up to Barcroft Park clean shaven over the weekend after sophomore shortstop Kev Mahalo was arrested in Virginia earlier in the week because police mistook him for a man wanted for organizing a ring of meth labs in the state.
They say to be the best, you have to beat the best.
Male students at this University have been forced to listen to feminist complaints – everything from equal pay to street “harassment” – for far too long.
The team’s Twitter account had been an inscrutable mess since November, featuring hundreds of what appeared to be hashtags but was really just the symbol followed by gibberish.
Chances are, you already met him in a beer-soaked basement the first week of freshman year. He’s wearing salmon-colored shorts and Sperry Top-Siders.
Though selling weed is still illegal in D.C., a Hatchet Job investigation reveals that a quietly rolled-out task force has begun unloading 100 pounds of weed a week to make up for the massive budget cuts hitting campus.
GW’s student newspaper reached the milestone after incorrectly reporting that University President Jock Strapp had purchased the Gelbucks shop for his dog, Lays.
The Majorly Poopy Department charged University President Jock Strapp this week with arson after an investigation revealed he burned down the $275 million Science and Engineering Hall.