March 31, 2008

Volume 104, Issue 51

Stories from the March 31, 2008 issue of the GW Hatchet. View a PDF version of this issue.

April Fool’s Issue: Bomb Diggity

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. Vickter Dzsldfiaesf…fuckit/Pussy photographer, fo’ real J.A.P.S. attacked GW Thursday, when an army of Jewish American Princesses dropped Blackberries, Starbucks cups, and designer handbags on the GW campus. University President Tayka Napp said he was “schvitzing” amid rumors of nuclear war with […]

April Fool’s Issue: Pedestal: Fingers Everywhere

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. Every month the voice of the newspaper, The Pussy’s board, takes the time to enlighten the GW community at their level – one-sentence, idiot-proof synopses of campus issues. (We’re kind enough to even throw in a picture.) Often times this space […]

April Fool’s Issue: GW Boxer Brief: Democratic presidential candidates to compete in ultimate fighting match

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. Deciding to forgo the traditional debate forum, the University held an ultimate fighting competition between Democratic presidential contenders Billary Hinton and Harach Tomorrow Friday night. University President Stephanie Wetnapkin decided to hold the event as an alternative to what he called […]

April Fool’s Issue: GW Expat: Wandering in Wal-Mart

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. I had just spent legit the best spring break of my life in this place called Cancun, partying, tanning and drinking with friends. I expected my high to last well into the middle of next week-when Daddy puts his Wednesday deposit […]