Volume 104, Issue 51
Stories from the March 31, 2008 issue of the GW Hatchet. View a PDF version of this issue.
Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. Head men’s basketball coach Carl Chobbs has kicked himself off the team for violating an unspecified team rule, The Pussy has learned. A source said that athletic director Yack Nopants will make the announcement later this week at a press conference. […]
Former University President Stephen Joel Trachtenberg spoke fondly of his experiences with Hillel during an address he gave at the organization’s national summit on universities and the Jewish community. Trachtenberg said during his presidency, he aimed to create ties between communities that otherwise would have had little contact. One of his “fondest memories at GW” […]
GreenGW and the Residence Hall Association organized a contest this month to encourage students to conserve energy, but only a small amount of students are competing. More than a month has past in the Eco-Challenge and a few dozen students are competing to reduce residence hall water and electricity usage and to promote “the conservation […]
Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. University President Take-a Napp abruptly decided to move into a quad in Thurston Hall last week, citing an interest to “have a normal first-year experience.” Napp was seen carrying racy posters, beanbag chairs and his concerned wife Chesty Napp, who goes […]
After a hard-fought battle that spilled into overtime, the GW lacrosse team was unable to hold off Massachusetts, and fell in its second Atlantic-10 game, 8-9. The attempted comeback from a tough first period was emblematic of the team’s performance this season. A weak first half found the Colonials unable to score until almost halfway […]
Widespread corruption in Jamaica’s police force is a major concern for international advocacy groups, for the Jamaican government and now for GW Law School students who recently published a report detailing the police force’s crimes. GW Law School professor Arturo Carrillo, and students Sarah Hwang and Erin Culbertson co-authored the report while students Jordan Nodel […]
Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. It is 10 p.m. on Thursday night and a scantily clad, overweight but still relatively pretty, down to fuck female student is heading to the top floor of the M. Heck Center to begin her night at Club BLAH. This slutty […]
Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. It was a mistake. The University will actually bring someone people care about to Commencement. British spy James Bond will speak at the University-wide ceremony. GW retracted a news release which named some other Bond the keynote speaker once Terry Schiavo, […]
Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. I should have known something was wrong when Samson stopped in the middle of introducing himself to refer to Neil Strauss’s book, “The Game.” “Hi, I’m, uh, Samson and I, uh,” he peered down at his apparent cheat sheet as I […]
Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. Vickter Dzsldfiaesf…fuckit/Pussy photographer, fo’ real J.A.P.S. attacked GW Thursday, when an army of Jewish American Princesses dropped Blackberries, Starbucks cups, and designer handbags on the GW campus. University President Tayka Napp said he was “schvitzing” amid rumors of nuclear war with […]