April 1, 2002

Volume 98, Issue 55

Stories from the April 1, 2002 issue of the GW Hatchet.

CNN tags freshmen booty

THRUSTIN HALL – CNN host Stuckher Inthrustin was found unconscious in a pool of his own vomit Sunday night after an apparent trifecta of sex, drugs and bush jumping during a weekend-long visit to his new GW stomping grounds, his fan club reported. Inthrustin was taken to the GW Hospital, where 80 ounces of Old […]

BZA doesn’t affect students

A Buysnothing Zattheuniversitysays Aboutthecampus committee ruled Tuesday to force GW to house 110 percent of its students on campus by next fall. The same day, the Advice Nobodyingovernment Caresabout commission voted to force GW to analyze the noise generated by students sitting on the new solid gold couches on he fourth floor of the library, […]

Masturbator weds vagina

A man known as the “lewd driver,” who cruises around campus revealing himself, said he felt it is time to cum clean Wednesday in a recent Snatchet interview – and boy were his hands dirty. The campus celebrity – who frequents the 22nd and L streets corridor asking for directions to New York Avenue with […]