April 1, 2000

Volume 96, Issue 53

Stories from the April 1, 2000 issue of the GW Hatchet.

The SA’s secret sexy stories

With no Levi Strauss parties to occupy Friday and Saturday nights, many SA insiders have found themselves out of the loop this year. So, as a service to you, the devoted readers of our impeccable SA coverage (yes, all seven of you who actually read and care about the SA), The GW Crotch-Itch brings you […]

Classifieds (3/30)

Classified Ads Automotive Help Wanted Announcements Adoptions Personal Services Opportunities Day Care Summer Jobs Housing Offered Housing Wanted Roommates Health Services Travel Tutoring Housing-website

Poetry Corner

Adios, our Italian tyrant: a farewell to DiMeglio Four years ago a girl named Fran Set foot on Foggy Bottom Balls in hand, with Mafia connections She went out to set shit straight Four years later A force to be reckoned with From frat house to frat house She earned the title Big Fran GW […]

Classifieds (4/3)

Classified Ads Automotive Help Wanted Adoptions Personal Services Opportunities Day Care Summer Jobs Housing Offered Housing Wanted Roommates Health Services Services-General Travel Tutoring Housing-website

Top-10 Lists

Top 10 places the Marvin Center armed robbers are hiding: 10. Mount Vernon 9. Ed Meinert’s jail cell8. Manoush’s hot dog stand7. Rice Hall 8026. Under Peter Konwerski’s pony tail5. The Al-Len Lee4. Matt Berger’s bus3. Marvin Center bathrooms2. Georgetown University1. UPD Top 10 reasons former IFC Dictator Sex Blueberg should have been among the […]

News Briefs

Holt shocks the world, writes about women’s sports Dave Dolt, GW Hatchet associate sports editor, shocked readers and friends alike after writing a column about women’s basketball in Monday’s Hatchet. That frickin’ trader, I knew he’d turn on me one day, men’s basketball Coach Tommy Pending said. I don’t pay this kid to write about […]

QUIZ: Which campus media outlet best suits your personality?

1. Which of the following news approaches intrigue you? A. Hard hitting coverage including the Marvin Center bathroom beat, Ed Meinert drama and gripping impeachment sagasB. Dead airC. Profile of Skip Oil-Of-Olay 2. Which columnists’ work would you most likely read? A. Basketball coverage with more depth than Dante’s Hell B. Nameless voicesC. A teenybopper […]

Staff editorial: Impeachment for all

Now that the Student Ass elections are over, the Ass is getting back to its usual business of doing nothing for its constituents. You know what that means boys and girls: impeachments, impeachments, impeachments. This year’s Ass will have a tough time matching up to the lack of accomplishment of the Pill Simpleton/err.Jeff Laxter.err.Catty Feu […]

Wild Beasts invade plagued Aston Hall

The residents of Aston Hall, undoubtedly the most beleaguered of GW’s dorms, are certainly hoping for their Moses to rescue them from the depths of Pharaoh’s hell. After being pummeled with plague after plague, can a mass exodus to the Promised Land (i.e. New Hall) be that far off? First it was the infamous winter-break […]

I know more than you

As a concerned Foggy Bottom resident of the past eight months and a former editor, I am writing about the poor quality of The GW Crotch-Itch. In the Golden Era of The Critch-Itch, we was good at spelling and grammar. We knew a lot more stuff too. We were funnier, better looking and more humble. […]