April 1, 2000

-from your not-so-friendly UPD officers – If you need protection, call two hours before anything happens. If we’re not on a lunch, coffee, bathroom or donut break or harassing the homeless, we’ll be with you in a few hours. – If you need an escort van, call four hours in advance. Be sure to be […]

Bar: Fraternity House Where: You all know Crowd: frat boys and sorority girls Getting In: show them your boobs and you’re a shoo-in Prices: free (if you show them your boobs) Food: are you kidding? Dancing: I guess you could call it that Pick-ups: they’ll pick you up and take you anywhere you want to […]

A month before starting to serve on the Marvin Center Whining Board, Phil Meisjerk has already been impeached for attempting to sell the University to America Online. Meisjerk held a press conference Sunday at J Street to announce that he was disbanding the University and selling off the property and the student body as laborers […]

You’ve seen Making the Band. It’s the show where a few special guys are selected to become the next boy-band sensation. And you knew this show would follow close behind. It’s Making of the Girl. And anyone can be the next Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera or Mandy Moore. However, the producer of the show, Aaron […]

U.S. President Bill Clinton engaged in a drunken rampage through campus Friday before eventually making his way to Georgetown, where he woke up naked early Saturday morning. White House Secret Service reported that the president hopped over the fence surrounding the White House lawn at about 10:30 p.m. Friday night and stole a Domino’s Pizza […]

There were signs hip-hop was selling out. By the end of 1997, even Martha Stewart had a copy of Puff Daddy’s No Way Out. By the end of 1999, Jay-Z had everybody shaking to his rendition of Hard Knocks Life from Annie. So when the Wu-Tang Clan’s Wu-Street Boys record crushed N SYNC’s No Strings […]

With no Levi Strauss parties to occupy Friday and Saturday nights, many SA insiders have found themselves out of the loop this year. So, as a service to you, the devoted readers of our impeccable SA coverage (yes, all seven of you who actually read and care about the SA), The GW Crotch-Itch brings you […]

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Adios, our Italian tyrant: a farewell to DiMeglio Four years ago a girl named Fran Set foot on Foggy Bottom Balls in hand, with Mafia connections She went out to set shit straight Four years later A force to be reckoned with From frat house to frat house She earned the title Big Fran GW […]

Classified Ads Automotive Help Wanted Adoptions Personal Services Opportunities Day Care Summer Jobs Housing Offered Housing Wanted Roommates Health Services Services-General Travel Tutoring Housing-website