April 2, 1998

Oral satisfaction I am writing to inform the GW community of the area’s least-known talent group, the Twitches. We are GW’s first, only and best a cappella group comprised entirely of women with Turret’s Syndrome. Because of The GWobe’s obvious bias toward us, we never receive publicity for our twice-yearly performances. (Because of the nature […]

Belicic earns A-10 honor for second time Freshman Adam Belicic of the GW baseball team was named the Atlantic 10’s Rookie of the Week for the second time this season Monday. Belicic has been playing well both at the plate and on the mound for the Colonials. As a pitcher, Belicic has been the ace […]

GWobe Mad LibsThe University’s decision to ____________ (verb phrase) is incredibly short-sighted and ill-advised. It is difficult to believe that in this day and age, _____________ (administrator’s name) still does not understand students here are more than just ________ (noun). We are also _________ (noun). This decision is just further proof we attend a ________ […]

Wins continued to pile up for the GW baseball team this week. The Colonials won two out of three games against Rhode Island last weekend, and then posted comeback wins over James Madison and Howard universities Tuesday and Wednesday. GW has won three games in a row and 13 of its last 15. The Colonials […]

I have a confession to make. I lied about my house burning down. I lied in order to gain sympathy from my ex-girlfriend. I thought that if she felt enough pity for me in my time of tragedy and need, it would help us get back together. I mean, who wouldn’t want me. Just look […]

Mariana Velazquez (name changed at administration’s request) was just 15 years old when her parents’ tranquil farm in El Salvador was sacked and burned by guerrilla forces. Her parents and younger brothers dead, Velazquez sat weeping in the charred ruins. “I prayed for salvation,” she remembers. “And when I looked up, there he was. I […]

Okay kiddies, I have given you, my faithful readers, several columns in which I have poured out my heart and soul, recounting a history of my foiled love attempts. This column will be no different, I shall tell you all about yet another relationship that crashed and burned long before it ever took off. Back […]

Running around organizing her sorority isn’t easy on senior Kandy Hertzblaum. Especially in three-inch heels. But Hertzblaum braves blisters and bad hair days. As president and founder of Kappa Smacka Slut, she can barely catch her breath, let alone take a day off (even when D.C.’s intense humidity threatens to frizz her mane). “As the […]

Air conditioning in campus buildings lumbered into operation Tuesday as campus computers came dangerously close to shutting down from the heat and students complained to University administrators about the unseasonably warm weather. Mike Briggs, a systems specialist at the law school, said the school’s mainframe computer came within five degrees of overheating Tuesday afternoon. “There […]

I DIDN’T WRITE MONDAY’S COLUMN. Those Hatchet fools parodied me. However, this is a real COLUMN by me and it is all about bombings. This is serious stuff so if you want a laugh, go run naked through J Street. I recently read in the paper we were considering bombing Iraq before some commie African […]