Volume 94, Issue 33
Stories from the April 2, 1998 issue of the GW Hatchet.
I have a confession to make. I lied about my house burning down. I lied in order to gain sympathy from my ex-girlfriend. I thought that if she felt enough pity for me in my time of tragedy and need, it would help us get back together. I mean, who wouldn’t want me. Just look […]
Mariana Velazquez (name changed at administration’s request) was just 15 years old when her parents’ tranquil farm in El Salvador was sacked and burned by guerrilla forces. Her parents and younger brothers dead, Velazquez sat weeping in the charred ruins. “I prayed for salvation,” she remembers. “And when I looked up, there he was. I […]
Okay kiddies, I have given you, my faithful readers, several columns in which I have poured out my heart and soul, recounting a history of my foiled love attempts. This column will be no different, I shall tell you all about yet another relationship that crashed and burned long before it ever took off. Back […]
Running around organizing her sorority isn’t easy on senior Kandy Hertzblaum. Especially in three-inch heels. But Hertzblaum braves blisters and bad hair days. As president and founder of Kappa Smacka Slut, she can barely catch her breath, let alone take a day off (even when D.C.’s intense humidity threatens to frizz her mane). “As the […]
Air conditioning in campus buildings lumbered into operation Tuesday as campus computers came dangerously close to shutting down from the heat and students complained to University administrators about the unseasonably warm weather. Mike Briggs, a systems specialist at the law school, said the school’s mainframe computer came within five degrees of overheating Tuesday afternoon. “There […]
I DIDN’T WRITE MONDAY’S COLUMN. Those Hatchet fools parodied me. However, this is a real COLUMN by me and it is all about bombings. This is serious stuff so if you want a laugh, go run naked through J Street. I recently read in the paper we were considering bombing Iraq before some commie African […]
Faye Moskowitz, newly-named chair of the English Department, was 35 years old when she began her undergraduate studies. The trouble was, Moskowitz didn’t have a very good sense of direction. Even though American University was closer to her home, she enrolled at GW. She knew how to get there. An Unusual JourneyUnlike many academics, Moskowitz […]
A year ago, GW Hospital was abuzz with talk of the University’s decision to establish a partnership with Universal Health Services Inc., one of the largest hospital management corporations in the country. Employees anxiously awaited news of their futures, and wondered how working conditions might change. They faced concerns about every aspect of work at […]
Missing the point I am writing in response to the commentary on The Hatchet’s publication of “U.S. needs black holocaust museum” (“Vexed by vocabulary,” March 26, p.4). I would first like to say that I find it extremely sad the writer was so embroiled in the petty argument over the exact meanings of capitalism and […]
ARIES (March 22-April 21)You have been wanting to ask that girl/guy out in your lit class for months. This weekend you don’t have to think about it anymore. S/he has been feeling the same way and will ask you to out this weekend. Who said nice guys always finish last? TAURUS (April 22- May 21)All […]