April 2, 1998

Volume 94, Issue 33

Stories from the April 2, 1998 issue of the GW Hatchet.

Heat threatens to shut down campus computers

Air conditioning in campus buildings lumbered into operation Tuesday as campus computers came dangerously close to shutting down from the heat and students complained to University administrators about the unseasonably warm weather. Mike Briggs, a systems specialist at the law school, said the school’s mainframe computer came within five degrees of overheating Tuesday afternoon. “There […]

My attempt at Mideast understanding

I DIDN’T WRITE MONDAY’S COLUMN. Those Hatchet fools parodied me. However, this is a real COLUMN by me and it is all about bombings. This is serious stuff so if you want a laugh, go run naked through J Street. I recently read in the paper we were considering bombing Iraq before some commie African […]

Plans for new hospital boost staff morale

A year ago, GW Hospital was abuzz with talk of the University’s decision to establish a partnership with Universal Health Services Inc., one of the largest hospital management corporations in the country. Employees anxiously awaited news of their futures, and wondered how working conditions might change. They faced concerns about every aspect of work at […]

Letters to the editor

Missing the point I am writing in response to the commentary on The Hatchet’s publication of “U.S. needs black holocaust museum” (“Vexed by vocabulary,” March 26, p.4). I would first like to say that I find it extremely sad the writer was so embroiled in the petty argument over the exact meanings of capitalism and […]


ARIES (March 22-April 21)You have been wanting to ask that girl/guy out in your lit class for months. This weekend you don’t have to think about it anymore. S/he has been feeling the same way and will ask you to out this weekend. Who said nice guys always finish last? TAURUS (April 22- May 21)All […]

Proposal could give Barry teaching post

Friends and supporters of D.C. Mayor Marion Barry (D) have established a fund to urge him to accept a visiting professorship with the consortium of universities in the metropolitan area, The Washington Post reported Sunday. But GW President Stephen Joel Trachtenberg said GW does not have enough information to make a decision about whether it […]

Injustices proof of no God

(U-WIRE) LINCOLN, Neb. – When I was a young German (just picture me running through the Black Forest in my Lederhosen), I went to church just because it was what everybody did. Back then I made a list of questions I wanted to ask God if he ever appeared to me, as he did to […]

Testesbulg debuts as insane drunk

In what GW President Steven Testesbulg said was his acting debut, he admitted last week to playing Buddy Black, the alcoholic father, in John Formulaic Girsham’s The Rainmaker. “It really wasn’t that difficult,” Testesbulg said of his part. “I just replaced the Hollywood rum with some D.C. `water’ and ran with it.” Students were unaware […]

Jarofurine’s bald head center of controversy at GW

GW men’s basketball coach Ike Jarofurine has turned down head coaching offers from more than 200 Division I schools in order to pursue another job, president of the Hair Club for Men. “I think my smooth, shiny dome is the kind of look the company wants to push,” Jarofurine said while carefully polishing his head […]