Scire Spice

April Fools’ Issue: Hippo goes public about imprisonment, torture

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. Unarmed Police Department officers rescued GW’s beloved mascot, Hippo, from the basement of the Marvin Center yesterday morning, where he had been imprisoned and tortured for more than six months. Federal investigators described Hippo’s situation as “Gitmo-esque.” The Buzzkill reported Hippo’s […]

April Fools’ Issue: University admits Square 54 is dig to China

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. Masked as the preliminary construction of an office and retail complex, The Buzzkill has learned that Square 54 is actually the beginning of a University-funded dig to China. In an elaborate scheme to directly connect GW with the source of science […]