With Valentine’s Day here and no one to call my own for the 18th year in a row, I have decided that it is high time I change my plan of attack. Buying myself boxes of chocolate has lost its charm, and letters from secret admirers don’t titillate when they arrive in your own handwriting. […]
I lost my dog. It was a Saturday afternoon during vacation and I decided to go on a stroll through Central Park in Manhattan with my dad. It was a pleasant way to while away the hours bonding with my father. As we sauntered through the greenery, careful to avoid stubbing our toes on syringes […]
It all started with pinkeye. I mean, who gets pinkeye when they are 18 years old? I thought this ailment was of the preschool set of maladies, second cousin to head lice and cooties. But I was proven wrong the minute I awoke with one lopsided eye as pink as the Barbie thermos I toted […]
Times are tough, I know. Having a frat boy in the White House and anthrax floating around all has surprisingly had an adverse effect on the stock market. With the cost of upscale dining services with congenial and efficient staff, tuition is not getting any cheaper. I know my parents are feeling the pinch of […]
I am athletic. I do many things that can be considered attempts at physical fitness. I even have a whole workout regime: I walk (to class), I lift things (on a fork to my mouth) and I even stair climb (like on the horrific day when all six of Funger’s elevators were out of commission). […]