Recently I had the good fortune along with several hundred of my schoolmates to spend several hours of the night wandering the streets in search of a warm grate to sleep on, or a cardboard box to snuggle up in. No, we were not on crack, chillin’ with our homeless homies, and GW did not […]
Given the fact that we are at an academic institution, a hothouse of intellect, wisdom and learning, one would expect that every element of this great school would have been planned and implemented with a high degree of care. Throughout my year and a half here, I have born witness to the fact that this […]
Americans are always searching for role models. We are never satisfied with self-assessment, but must constantly base our self-worth on the opinions of outsiders or attempt to emulate the meritorious actions of others. Everyone is guilty of a little mimicry. Freshmen can be seen daily paying homage to Somalian superstars, sporting Aguilerra-esque sunken eye sockets […]
Vanity has reached new heights. I have a friend considering buttocks implants. “It’s really nothing,” she says. “They just remove a little inner thigh and stick it in my rump.” Nothing she says? Surgically altering her derriere to make her the only eastern European Jew with a ghetto booty or should we say Shtetl booty? […]
I just had an orgasm. Summer, in the sexual escapade that is life (full of hasty fumblings, unfulfilled expectations and lonely mornings) is the climax, that blissful release that the whole year builds up to. That warm weather in May is like foreplay, it heats things up and gets you thinking about what’s to come. […]