Rat Mist

April Fools’ Issue: Tour guides hospitalized after falling on asses

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. Following the hospitalization of two STAR tour guides, administrators announced yesterday that the program would no longer force unpaid students to walk backwards when giving tours. As STAR tour guides Bobby Maximum and Preztobe Clifton continue to recover from broken tailbones […]

April Fools’ Issue: Tech glitch admits 500 dumbasses

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. An investigation into a sharp drop in undergraduate GPAs turned up documents that suggest that most of the class of 2013 is actually made up of students that were supposed to be rejected. The Office of Mistaken Decisions said more than […]