Otis Towns

Reminiscing on a year’s worth of columns

The first story I ever wrote for The Hatchet was a profile of Josh Hochberg. In those days, The Hatchet did profiles of interesting GW students, and Josh was interesting because he flew airplanes. When I went to interview him, he insisted not only that we conduct the interview in an airplane, but that I […]

Protesters raise awareness, body odor

My awareness has been raised. Here’s what I know: most of the world’s people live in poverty, sweatshops are just plain awful, nature is on the run, unions improve working conditions, women are oppressed, people of color are oppressed, killing animals to eat them hurts the animals, children should be educated, people should live in […]

Information Age changes the status of activismof activism

This article is the first in a three-part series. The room is Corcoran 302. It’s filled with about 40 students who have come together to plan and organize their activities for the April 16 protests against the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund. Part of their planning and organizing is coming up with a […]

Inside the mind of an SA discontent

Daylight savings time is back, and I’m pissed off. Not only does it mean days that seem to go on forever, it also means I lost an hour – a whole hour – during the transition. Most people would blame Canada or those lousy farmers, but not me. I know who’s behind this daylight savings […]

Testing the buffalo theory

You’ve probably heard about the buffalo theory. There are two actually: one is that the Native Americans killed them all, and the other has to do with alcohol and brain cells. Neither theory is true, and both are dangerous. The Buffalo Theory of Brain Cells, though, will get you into more trouble. It claims that […]

Brother Stephen for page two columnist

My time as your columnist is almost up. According to the calendar, I’ve only got four or five of these things left. Two of those might actually be good. The editorial staff of The Hatchet usually looks far and wide before giving the page two column to someone’s friend, but I think this year the […]

Here’s how you can be a columnist

I’ve been sick for a week. I had a sore throat, and I couldn’t swallow or write this column. That was a shame because I think it’s really funny. Anyway, my illness made me realize that I’m not some kind of superman. I can’t just go on making light of the world if there are […]

A better life at the millennium, in space

It’s almost 2000. Let’s see what lies ahead. People often say, You can’t know where you’re going till you know where you’ve been. I don’t know why. Probably because it has a good rhythm. People also like to say things that rhyme. That’s why Must See TV on NBC is so popular. You can’t know […]

Phil Meinert and fecal matter

The news in The Hatchet is bad. Ed Meinert was only pretending to be Ed Meinert, of all people. Phil Meisner was only pretending to be SA president, of all things. Their stories ran in close proximity so that now everyone thinks President Phil Meinert got impeached for credit-card fraud. Sex in the Marvin Center […]

Living in a fashion police state

As usual, I was consumed with loneliness this summer. Luckily, I got a job at a law office so the huge chasm in my chest was filled with anxiety. The job at the law office has also provided me with something called money. I am finally earning more than a drinking wage. I realize that […]