Mike Bocchini

Parents, here’s what $100,000 bought you

Hello parents and welcome to Commencement. For those of you who haven’t been here since the laser light show at Colonial Inauguration the time has come for you to see where the rest of your $100,000 went. Okay, I know it’s been a little more than $100,000, but here at GW we get to take […]

Strange times and stranger people

First the world refused to end in a fiery cataclysm on New Year’s, and then last week, the International Monetary Fund and World Bank protests ended not with a bang but a fizzle like some biodegradable whoopee cushion. The protests even ended with hundreds of people volunteering to get arrested. Volunteering to get arrested! Who […]

A columnist’s jaunt in sunny L.A.

Now that the April Foolery is over, and our good friend Otis Bocchini has hung up his quill, the essential question remains . so did everyone have fun on spring break? Or did you just spend the majority of the week huddled up in a quivering ball on some hotel bathroom floor? Now that you’re […]

The Love Song of J. Otis Townfrock

The Love Song of J. Otis Townfrock by Mike Bocchini with apologies to T.S. Eliot Let us go to the Marvin Center, you and IWhen the evening is spread out against the sky Like an unconscious freshman on the bathroom floor; Let us go through certain unnamed buildings, XX and New HallTo J Street lines […]

A very special night chez Biggie Joel

Last Wednesday evening while Student Association hopefuls made their last desperate attempts to talk jaded grad students into voting for them, I had the distinct pleasure of being the guest at the palatial home of our esteemed University president, Stephen Joel Trachtenberg, and his wife. I will refrain from making disparaging remarks about Mrs. Trachtenberg, […]

GWopoly? How about GWRisk

It’s my favorite time of year again – Student Association election season. A time when I can just sit back and let the hacks, I mean candidates, do my work for me. Why spend hours trying to find fresh new parallels between President Stephen Joel Trachtenberg and Louis XIV when the oh so politically savvy […]

GW activism – toilets and Coke baby

Last week The Hatchet reported that the Community Living and Learning Center, or CLLC, plans to remove housekeeping from upperclassman residence halls next year. CLLC’s move sparked much debate and demonstrates that while you can’t get more than three of our students to turn out to vote in SA elections, you can get them up […]

FreeCell is the spawn of Satan

A lot of people out there will tell you that Bill Gates is the anti-Christ, that he’s a maniacal genius bent on world domination and the enslavement of masses though his Web browser. Even the federal government has gone so far as to release Janet Reno to crack his evil empire’s monopoly. But I think […]

Convocation could use a little 007

Last Tuesday you may recall there were no classes from noon to 3 p.m. I’m sure all of you, being good little GW students, took the opportunity to make the most of your time. Whether you were sleeping in, watching soaps or chatting girls up on the Burger King line you did mom and dad’s […]

Meisner’s junta and other lunacy

This past Thursday I took the GRE and had planned on serving up a delicious satire of the test’s questions. You know, stuff like Trees are to goat cheese as a lunar rover is to a) political science, b) Louis XIV, c) a rake, or d) pingpong. But then my roommate Chris reminded me that […]