Mark Olsen

Column: Spring fever outbreak grips GW sloths

Friends and strangers alike often come to me for advice. This morning for instance, a troubled gentleman who I had never spoken to before, called my room at 8 a.m. He said, “My name is Charlie from Vintage Foods. I’m here to fill your vending machine.” Needless to say, I have no vending machine. Charlie […]

Column: GW’s strategies to rise in rankings

If there is one thing I try to do with this column, it is to raise awareness of the many and wonderful pork products and their uses. And if there is a second thing I try to do, it is to undermine the career of Tom Hanks. But the third thing I set out to […]

Column: GW progresses to next stage of shameless self-promotion

Last week the GW community got a glimpse of the future when the University’s radical program to rename campus buildings went into its test phase. The first step, changing one sign to gauge student response, was a small one. The Marvin Center was renamed the Marvin Gaye Center. While the great majority of students were, […]

Column: Going deep inside the corn wars

At Taco Bell, an inconspicuous sign reading “Due to a national shortage of yellow corn we are temporarily substituting white corn shells for our tacos and tostadas” casts a long shadow over the pseudo-ethnic cuisine. The dark recesses of that shadow, in fact, encompass the entire GW community and a nation in crisis. A silent […]