ARIES (March 22-April 21)You actually think you are going to register for classes on time. Your advisor is out of town for the week, so you are out of luck. Your chances of graduating on time are shot. TAURUS (April 22- May 21)You finished your paper in one night, and you can tell. Maybe you […]
ARIES (March 22-April 21)You have been wanting to ask that girl/guy out in your lit class for months. This weekend you don’t have to think about it anymore. S/he has been feeling the same way and will ask you to out this weekend. Who said nice guys always finish last? TAURUS (April 22- May 21)All […]
ARIES (March 22-April 21)You decided spring break was the time to go wild. You went out, partied, got drunk and hooked-up – big time. Now you think that girl/guy is out of your life forever. Think again. GEMINI (May 22-June 21)It’s time you pulled your head out of your ass to realize what is happening. […]
PISCES (Feb. 22-March 21)You can return the gas mask you bought, scaredy cat. Did you really believe it when your roommate told you Saddam was going to bomb your house? ARIES (March 22-April 21)That girl/guy you met at LuLu’s last weekend is a waste of your time. Stop waiting by the phone. Then again, losers […]
AQUARIUS (Jan. 22-Feb. 21)You are flat broke. Lucky for you, your stupid-ass friends will support you all weekend so you can have a good time. Just try not to get sick on them during your celebration.PISCES (Feb. 22-March 21)You thought you were so tough walking in the rain without an umbrella, and now you’re sick. […]
AQUARIUS (Jan.22-Feb.21)Last weekend you wasted away feeling sorry for yourself. You didn’t get any work done like you said you would. Stop complaining. It’s your own fault. Be productive this weekend – and that doesn’t mean getting drunk. PISCES (Feb. 22-March 21)You need to get out there and find a significant other. Valentine’s Day is […]
AQUARIUS (Jan. 22-Feb. 21) This weekend you need to balance fun and work. Figure out now what it means to budget your time so you don’t have to pull an all-nighter down the road. PISCES (Feb. 22-March 21) Tired after a long week’s work – probably not. Work isn’t a word in your vocabulary. Carry […]
AQUARIUS (Jan. 22-Feb. 21) You need a wake-up call. Last weekend you forgot about your friends and now they probably hate you. Stop being conceited and apologize. PISCES (Feb. 22-March 21) News flash: Your parents don’t love you. Not after you ran up a tab on their Visa last weekend. Start saving now for a […]
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 21) It’s time to get back on track. Your parents don’t pay this fine institution billions of dollars for you to get the G.P.A. you got last semester. AQUARIUS (Jan. 22-Feb. 21) Stressed yet? Don’t worry, you will be. With your busy schedule you won’t have any time to eat. At least […]
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21) Your Thanksgiving wasn’t relaxing because your family annoyed you too much. The next couple of weeks aren’t going to be a vacation, either, because of all of the work you have to do. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 21) Stop bitching about all of the papers you have to write. Not only does […]