Dustin Diamond

Muff diver arrested in University sex sting

In a pre-dawn raid Saturday morning, Useless Pretender officers arrested freshman Simon Limpdick, the notorious Thrustin Hall carpet muncher. UPD Chief Walrus Staffwhore said Limpdick will be charged with sexual impropriety and conspiracy to commit further acts of sexual pleasure. Limpdick is the first student to be prosecuted under the new Consensual Fornicating Act, which […]