Doofus Condescending

April Fool’s Issue: Tuition unimaginably high

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. Despite a $75,000 hike in tuition last week, administrators are still contending that GW is the least-expensive university on the Eastern Seaboard. Cost of attendance – including tuition, room and board, books, fees and travel expenses – is hovering around $125,000 […]

April Fool’s Issue: SJT can’t bear to let go

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. After leaving the presidency April 1, Supposedly Jobless Trachtenbye decided against taking a year off, choosing instead to vie for a park bench with Old Man Schenley. Sources close to the at-one-point-outgoing leader said he couldn’t bear the thought of leaving […]

April Fool’s Issue: The sheep he rode in on

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue. After incoming University President Sheepish Sleep pries the position out of Supposedly Jobless Trachtenbye’s cold hands this July, celebration events will be held across campus. Sleep who (literally) lives on a sheep farm at his rich-white-guy home in Maryland, is expected […]