Tyler Calder will be spending New Year’s Eve at a party hosted by a friend, but her perfect night is a bit different.
Calder, who graduated with a bachelor’s degree in American studies in 2013, is the editorial lead at Girls’ Night In – a weekly newsletter and community that focuses on how women can take better care of themselves.
Calder will spend the year’s biggest partying night mingling, but her idea of a perfect Girls’ Night In-style soiree consists of watching romantic comedies on Netflix and putting on a face mask. She certainly wouldn’t turn down a cheese board and would also want a bottle of red wine within her reach, she said.
We liked the sound of that plan, so in honor of the new year, The Hatchet sat down with Calder to talk about getting much needed relaxation during the holiday season and how to actually succeed when it comes to practicing self care in 2019.
How did you get involved with Girls’ Night In? Why do you think its message is so important?
Tyler Calder: I got involved with Girls’ Night In because I was a reader and a follower. I remember probably a year and a half ago I heard about it through a friend. I loved it immediately because I’m naturally a really social person, but I also need alone time and I felt like I could really vibe with the message behind Girls’ Night In, which is that its very important to take time for yourself. Prioritizing your self care and wellness is not selfish. I really identified with that.
Then slowly but surely, I connected with the founder and started writing for Girls’ Night In, and now I’m the editorial and content lead. As women, we often face a lot of pressure from outside forces, so it was really nice to find a community and space that understood those pressures and understood that no matter what – even if you are the type of person that loves helping other people – it is also important to take time for yourself, to invest in yourself, to give your body whatever it is you need, strive and feel good.
What are your favorite ways to relax and unwind during stressful times like the holidays?
TC: Something that’s really underrated is the power of a bath. Take that time to maybe step away from a screen and just relax and choose a bath soap that helps your body feel good. If you have a bath shelf, you could bring a book in with you and really take some time to restore and reset your body. I’m a big fan of putting essential oils in the bath or a bath bomb. That’s always my go-to move when I really need to relax.
Do you have any resolutions for this new year? If so, how do you plan to execute them?
TC: Something that Girls’ Night In really helped me with was the way I think about resolutions and my relationship with goal setting at the beginning of the year. At Girls’ Night In, they really put a focus on self investment over self improvement, so doing something for yourself and your body that will feed you going forward in the year and not necessarily getting into the mindset of “you need to change yourself in some way.”
For me, one of my biggest resolutions is just to hydrate. I always forget to drink water throughout the day, which is one of the most basic needs that we have. I often find that I have a headache at the end of the day because I’ve been looking at a screen and haven’t had enough water. I really believe this is going to be the year that I hydrate more, that I listen to my body and make sure I’m putting water into it when I need it. It’s an important one – small but mighty.
How can we succeed in actually relaxing or practicing more self care in 2019?
TC: Something that I find helpful is getting a pen or marker out and if you have a journal or notebook that you keep with you, just write down what the actual goal is.
An example of a goal that might be a self investment goal would be reading more. If you’re the type of person who wants to read more, write down the ideal amount of time you want to spend reading. It might be better to think about the time you want to spend reading and not put a number on how many books you want to read. Then, you’re really invested in yourself and the amount of time you put aside each week to read. Hopefully, you’re getting something out of it in return – you get to join a book club or just really enjoy these stories that take you away from the day-to-day chaos.
Why do you think that New Year’s resolutions usually fail?
TC: If people are less satisfied with how they stuck to their original goal, it might be because it was a really big leap from their natural behavior. If you want to succeed in the coming year and reach a goal, it might be about tailoring the goal to your lifestyle and thinking about how it fits into your normal day-to-day and not just the first couple weeks of the year. Think about how it could play out for you in January, in June, in November and see if it’s feasible for the long term.