Guide to The Hatchet’s crime log through comical campus crimes from the year

Media Credit: Hatchet File Photo

The GW Police Department responds to crime on campus, but not all of the incidents are a cause for concern.

As part of its coverage, The Hatchet reports on crime and the campus police department throughout the school year.

This year, the GW Police Department had its two top officials resign and the department later nixed the chief position in favor of a new structure.

But, in addition to the bigger news within the department, we also document the day-to-day campus crimes GWPD encounters so students are aware of what’s going on in their community. In each entry published weekly in the GW crime log, we list the type of crime, time, location, the outcome of the case and a brief description.

While some crimes can be a cause for concern, others barely cause authorities to bat an eye. Get an introduction to The Hatchet’s crime log by checking out some of the zaniest entries from the past year:

Salty they stole your low-sodium sauce

Theft II/Destroying/Defacing Structures
Unknown – Unknown
603 22nd St. NW.
Case Closed

A male student reported to GWPD that his bedroom had been vandalized and two shirts were missing from his closet. Officers observed soy sauce coating the complainant’s walls and a hole in the drywall.

– No suspects or witnesses.

‘Game of Thrones’ warned you winter is coming

Disorderly Conduct/Throwing Objects From Building
4/13/2018 – 11:19 p.m.
Shenkman Hall
Case Closed

A female student reported to GWPD that ice thrown from an upper floor of Shenkman Hall struck her in the head. EMeRG assessed the student and transported her to the GW Hospital emergency room for medical treatment.

– No suspects or witnesses.

Porcelain makes the perfect pillow

Public Drunkenness
2/2/2018 – 1:08 p.m.
Case Closed

GWPD responded to Carvings restaurant for a report of an intoxicated male, unaffiliated with GW, who was sleeping in the men’s restroom. EMeRG assessed the subject, who was in his mid-60s, and transported him to the GW Hospital emergency room for medical treatment.

– No further action.

Future art critic rips work to shreds

Destruction of Property/Vandalism
Textile Museum
10/21/2017 – 1 p.m.
Case Closed

A female staff member of the Textile Museum reported to GWPD that a male child of a non-GW affiliate was left unattended and destroyed an art exhibit.

– No further action.

The case of the missing New Year’s resolution meal

Theft II/From Building
Monroe Hall
9/7/2017 – Unknown
Case closed

A female faculty member reported to GWPD that she left a container of fruit on her desk and a container of hummus in her office refrigerator. When she returned to work the following day, both containers were missing from her office.

– No identifiable suspects.

Teachers fear tears

Disorderly conduct
Multiple – Multiple
Elliott School of International Affairs
Case Closed

Several staff members reported to GWPD officers that a female student created repeated disturbances in their offices in the Elliott School. The student visited the staff members’ offices multiple times, cried and became overly emotional. She refused to leave on multiple occasions, but there was no violent behavior.

–Referred to the Division of Student Affairs.

– Subject barred.

The Hatchet has disabled comments on our website. Learn more.