Not everything is good versus evil, but one thing is certain: Once Dec. 1 strikes, there can only be naughty or nice.
Since coal is messy and hard to find, here are some gifts sure to make your naughty friends blush about their devilish ways. But if you tend to spend more time with angelic types, take a look at presents that will make your sweeter friends smitten.
Gifts for the naughty:
Slightly inappropriate board games
To add a little spice to a night with a group of old or new friends, all you need is a little scandal. “Who’s Most Likely To” – a board game sold at Urban Outfitters for $16 – is a temporary way of relishing in the pettiness you’ve been holding in all year. Instead of roasting chestnuts on an open fire, roast your friends while predicting who is most likely to go missing within minutes of going out and other less-than-wholesome hypotheticals.
Or, if your friends are vying for the title of meme queen, try the “What Do You Meme?” board game, which sells on Amazon for $30. The object of the game is to match images of memes with the perfect response card. To enhance your experience with more cards, try the Stoner and Basic Bitch expansion packs for $14 each.
Feel the fantasy in holiday undies
Ask any guy who has actually invested in nice underwear and they’ll say jockstraps are devastatingly comfortable. Holiday undies come in all shapes and sizes, so go all out for the holidays with the snowman underwear costume sold at Candyman Fashion for $14. The freedom of less fabric may be a patriarchal construct to some, but gift this to a shy guy and watch their self esteem blossom, among other things.
For the ladies, get them a $9.50 ASOS holiday brief two-pack adorned with snow-capped christmas trees. There are cheekier winter options available if skimpier is better for you. No matter what you decide for your naughty friend, nothing should stop them from embracing their favorite holiday objects under their everyday wear.
Delve into the private lives of Craigslist’s naughtiest
Move over Rupi Kaur, this poetry book of ads from Craigslist’s missed connections will have you rethinking the boundaries of poems and romance. Collected by author Alan Feuer over five years, “I Hope You Find Me” is compilation of word-for-word transcriptions from Craigslist’s section where people seek attractive strangers with whom they’ve crossed paths.
Sold for $10 on Amazon, these poems are raunchy, veering into the scatalogical at times, while others are surprisingly profound. With titles like “You Farted at Walmart,” and tackling subjects such as foot fetishes, you shouldn’t gift this to your prudish relatives. This is for the literary kind of naughty friend looking to see a new, skewed perspective on love.
Gifts for the nice:
Immortal flower arrangements
Not everyone has a green thumb, so replace a bouquet that will die in a few weeks with one that lasts all year round. Paper Rose Co.’s paper flower arrangements look exquisite and withstand the follies of man. Handcrafted and so lifelike that you might try to smell them, these displays are well worth the investment.
Online orders are priced between $15 to $164, so there is something for every budget. The company’s website even sells imitation poinsettias and holiday wreaths, which sell for $60, in case your recipient is having trouble mustering up some holiday spirit.
Cure their annual hangover
For the goodie-two-shoes who will be talked into one too many shots at the holiday party, they might be needing a Hangover Kit. Kit Happens sells a Feel Better Gift Box for $52 on Amazon that holds the remedy for those blackout nights on spiked eggnog, where one may have mistaken their EMeRG ride for Santa’s sleigh.
The box includes an abundance of Emergen-C, multi-vitamins, soothing tea bags and more ingredients to wipe out their post-holiday headache in no time. It will give that party novice enough time to rally for the after-finals bar crawl – where they can put the kit to use again.
Curl up for some quality time
There’s nothing nicer than beating the final boss in a video game with your best friend or relative. Although online gaming with headset-driven communication has become the norm, some companies still market to players that want to play together locally. If you can get your hands on this hotly contested gift, the SNES Classic ($79) is the perfect multiplayer system and comes with 21 retro games installed. Share the frustration and joy that comes with kicking butt, all while spending wholesome quality time together.