2000 Pennsylvania Ave. NW

There are three factors you have to consider when deciding the best place to cry on campus.

First, how crowded is it? How well-known is it? Is there easy access to water and tissues? Don’t worry if you can’t think of a spot that leaves you with the privacy you need: We’ve found you a spot to cry with maximum efficiency – and you can still come out of your hiding spot looking like a 10.

The third floor of the Shops at 2000 Penn goes above and beyond all three of those requirements. While you’re likely to see someone you know at Chipotle, CVS or Bertucci’s, the third floor is a true hidden gem for those days when you need to cry. There’s not a soul in sight to witness even the most extravagant breakdown, but there is a nice bench to sit on.

The only slight negative is that the windows of the office building next door face outward, in clear view of the entire third floor. My recommendation? Just ignore them. I’ve yet to see anyone in those offices.

Once you’re done mopping those tears, it’s a short walk to the bathroom on the second floor, so your sniffly walk of shame will only last a minute.

To reward yourself for a cry well done, grab Captain Cookie on your way out of the building. No one will suspect a thing.

Readers’ pick: A monument