Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue.
They say to be the best, you have to beat the best. So it holds that to be the best team in the District, you have to beat the team that beat the team that beat … whatever. Sports doesn’t do math.
But we know that No. 2 seed Kansas lost to No. 7 seed Wichita State in the Round of 32 of the NCAA Tournament on Sunday in Omaha.
GW beat then-No. 11 Wichita State on Christmas Day in the Diamond Head Classic and on Wednesday, Dec. 10 the Hoyas were defeated, nay, embarrassed by the Jayhawks 75-70. That means that, by the transitive property, GW basketball is better than Georgetown.
And that means the Colonials will definitely rank higher in the AP poll than the Hoyas next year. You heard it here first, but only if it happens.
The Hoyas also lost in the Round of 32, so it doesn’t matter that they made the tournament because second place is just the first loser and nobody remembers teams that lose in the second round. Also because fuck you, that’s why. I totally could have gotten in there if I’d tried harder.