Drinking your way through Commencement

Media Credit: Sophie McTear | Design Editor

Victoria Tellechea-Rotta | Hatchet Reporter

Everyone knows graduation robes were invented to hide a flask.

Media Credit: Sophie McTear | Design Editor

Even the best graduation speeches can be boring and full of clichés. Unless your university got a speaker like Conan O’Brien or Steve Carell, you probably won’t laugh much.

Whether it’s your last chance to experience that “Animal House” lifestyle or you’re looking to make sure you’re entertained during the ceremonies, this drinking game should help you out.

– Drink if the speaker encourages graduates to follow their dreams.
– Drink if the speaker says something along the lines of “this is the first day of the rest of your lives.”
– Take a shot of tequila if Commencement speaker José Andrés says “food for thought.”
– Finish your drink if Andrés makes a metaphor about life and paella.
– Drink if the speaker says “you made it.”
– Take a sip of your drink if you hear someone in the audience complain that Kevin Spacey isn’t this year’s Commencement speaker.
– Drink if the speaker asks you to go out into the world and “make a difference.”
– Take a shot of whiskey if any of the speakers mention the cost of your education.
– Drink if the speaker attempts to make a joke and only administrators laugh.
– Finish your drink if you hear someone in the audience ask who the speaker is.
– Take a shot of vodka if anyone trips while getting his or her diploma.
– Take a shot of tequila and chase it with Natural Light if the speaker mentions that this is the best time of your lives.
– Drink if the speaker tells you to “believe in yourself.”
– Drink if the speaker says you are among “the best and the brightest.”
– Take a shot (in solidarity) if you see a fellow graduate who is hungover.
– Take a sip of your drink if unnecessary clapping disrupts the speaker.
– Take a shot if the speaker says “only at GW.”

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