It is springtime. The cherry blossoms are blooming. The city is full of tour buses and people wearing freshly purchased “NCIS” baseball caps. High school seniors are here to check out their new stomping grounds.
That’s right, it’s tourist season.
And with all of these out-of-towners, there are bound to be some harsh words exchanged when someone stands on the left side of a Metro escalator. This year, though, I hope to quell the tourism animosity by laying down some ground rules for both students and the people that invade – I mean, visit – the city.
1. When on your monument walks, please do not parade in an eight-person-wide chain on the paths next to the reflecting pool. The runners that come up behind you will find it nearly impossible to not play Red Rover with your vulnerable arms. The runners will win.
2. Please remember that while cherry blossoms are beautiful, they mean the start of a horrific allergy season. Bring your own Claritin from home, because if CVS runs out of allergy medicine because of tourists, there will be a riot.
3. Be patient while waiting for a table at brunch. While our weekend sport of bottomless brunch may make it hard for you and your children to get your morning pancakes, we ask that you understand that we wait for brunch all week.
1. When you see a tour group of young, adorable GW hopefuls, do keep shouting inappropriate things about what really happens in Thurston Hall – just never let them see your face.
2. Brush up on your directions, and only point people the wrong way if you think they’re strong enough to recover from it or if they’re wearing a Georgetown sweatshirt.
3. Wear outrageous day-partying apparel on sunny Saturday afternoons. If you see a group of tourists looking bored, be courteous. Invite them to tag along with you to the Eden rooftop. Bring extra flower headbands and cowboy hats so they never feel left out.
4. When groups pass you on Segways, make sure you say, “I wish I could ride one of those,” loud enough so the people wearing weird helmets and wishing they were in fact not riding a Segway seem cooler than they probably feel.
As students, we would like to formally welcome the previously unwelcomed to our neck of the woods. Enjoy!