The real Best of Northwest revealed

Media Credit: Hatchet File Photo

Recently, we asked our readers to submit their picks for our Best of Northwest guide, ranking their favorite hole in the walls and revealing the quadrant’s best-kept secrets.

As responses flooded in, we disappointingly sized up readers’ narrow knowledge of the Northwest neighborhoods and created our own choices. But pressured by the guilt – and aggressive reader commenting – we begrudgingly present the real Best of Northwest:

    Best Pizza Slice South of Manhattan

Winner: Whole Foods

There is actually nowhere better than the corner counter at Whole Foods, where you can find thin-crust pizza that’s only slightly worse than anything you would find on a Manhattan street corner. Owner Luigi Gambino Jr. – beloved by GW students as an Italian Manoosh – proudly tells his family’s classic immigrant story of hard work and innovation to any customer. “My great-great grandfather Luigi came over to Washington from Italy with nothing but the shirt on his back and a reusable shopping bag and opened a little shop on the corner of 22nd and I streets.”

For an authentic New York slice steeped in tradition, Whole Foods is kind of an institution for the ages. As sophomore Reina Goldstein put it, “This sure is pizza. It has sauce and everything.”

    Best Brewery

Winner: Whole Foods

The Whole Foods bar combines the best of one-stop shopping with the necessary amount of alcohol to numb the pain of standing in that goddamn register line. The artfully-packaged drinks feature recycled bottles and designer labels, providing the perfect dose of aesthetic pleasure to distract from the painfully high price tags and mediocre taste.

“Whole Foods brand beer is just so authentic,” Jack Grubb, a Whole Foods beer lover, said. “I mean anything in an opaque bottle must be worth an extra $5.”

The ambience at Whole Foods reflects the nature of a true dive bar. Hundreds of people pressed together, pushing and shoving to get around a cramped bar haphazardly placed in the middle of a supermarket greatly enhances the drinking experience.

    Best Local Farmers’ Market

Winner: Whole Foods

As the weather gets warmer, farmers’ markets begin to pop up all over the city, including this phenomenally convenient market on 22nd and I streets. Whole Foods stocks its store with produce from the very best DMV locales. Support your local farmers/day laborers!

    Best Public Park

Winner: Whole Foods

D.C. moves fast, and sometimes you need an escape from the hustle and bustle of GW’s city campus. Our readers have unanimously chosen the produce section at Whole Foods as the best place to enjoy nature’s many miracles.

    Best View

Winner: Whole Foods

Consider yourself lucky if you find yourself sitting by the window at Whole Foods. If you crane your neck just right, you might just get a glimpse of the constant construction going on across the street. Windows facing nearby Munson Hall provide a voyeuristic glimpse into the lives of college students, if you’re into that sort of thing.

    Best “Hole in the Wall”

Winner: Whole Foods

Have you heard of this organic market in Foggy Bottom? It’s called Whole Foods.

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