Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue.
A University administrator broke from his leash and conducted an interview Sunday without a media relations babysitter, marking the first time a GW official independently and candidly responded to questions with coherent thoughts and full sentences.
“I called my mom afterward. She was so proud that I talked without my babysitter,” Deputy Senior Associate Vice Secretary of I-Don’t-Really-Do-Anything Bobby McBumbles said.
In an interview with Le Hachét, McBumbles actually answered questions – rather than reading answers off a piece of paper for every question – and did not resort to baby talk. The move was a break from the totalitarian decree that mandates babysitters escort administrators and ensure communication conforms with the Propaganda Task Force.
“I was a little nervous because the last time we let an administrator go to an interview alone, he actually released numbers. We can’t just have our top administrators participating in a constructive dialogue. I mean, I went to babysitting school to prevent chaos and anarchy,” Babysitter #1 said.
Babysitter #1 said she let McBumbles loose because he ate all his vegetables Saturday night without any temper tantrums. She added that she let him go to the interview alone, as long as he promised to look both ways before crossing the street on the way to his Rice Hall office.
He came to the interview right after nap time, and only had to pause during the interview once to fill his sippy cup with juice.
“I hope they let me off my leash again soon. I was just potty trained, for Pete’s sake, I’m a big boy now,” McBumbles said.