Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue.
Office Hours with Napp
Sit down with the University’s head honcho and discuss how to improve the campus experience.
The F Street House – 3 to 3:01 p.m.
Chat with the Fuzz
University Gestapo Oh Hayy releases the number of residence hall monitors.
Mt. Doom Campus Secret Tunnel
Campus Dining Symposium
Discuss the glory days of J-Street with the short guy from WOW! and the Wendy’s cashier with the long pinky nail.
Dorothy Betts Marvin Theatre – Noon
Public forum: Pick the New Columbian College Dean
Nowhere – Never