Over the past several months, the two presidential candidates have carefully crafted their messages to reach the “average American.” So why not spend Election Night doing what the average American does on a Tuesday? Sit on the couch, watch TV and drink. Grab your favorite adult beverage, turn on your favorite cable news channel and enjoy the Bar Bro’s 2012 Election Night Drinking Game.
- Drink if someone manipulates a giant touch-screen map.
- Drink if you see a hologram. Drink again if someone is talking to it.
- Drink for any sighting of a panel of undecided voters.
- Any time there is a split screen, drink for as many seconds as there are pundits onscreen.
- Drink when the anchor awkwardly stalls for time. I’m looking at you, Wolf Blitzer.
- Drink any time an election in your home state comes up on the crawl.
- Drink any time an election is “still too close to call.”
- Drink for any election result where a candidate gets more than 70 percent of the vote.
- Drink any time “exit polls are showing” something.
- Drink when an anchor or pundit is visibly bummed out about election results.
- Take your friend’s drink if he or she is visibly bummed out about election results.
- Finish your drink when results are official in your home state.
- Finish your drink when one of the presidential candidates wins Ohio. It’s the only state that really counts.
- Finish your drink if someone you voted for wins.
- Finish your drink and take a shot if your candidate loses. It’s going to be a long four years.
As always, the Bar Bro urges you to drink responsibly. Don’t be classless. Just low-class.