Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue.
Complain about GW biddies
Join fellow Foggy Bottom-ites to rant about how GW students like to listen to music while they walk.
Marvin Center, Room 201 – 7 to 8:30 p.m.
Students should be caged
Help neighbors devise a plan to confine students to campus buildings on weekends and not let them go out.
Marvin Center Dungeon – 5 p.m.
Halt GW’s expansion
Enlist in the Foggy Bottom Militia to aide in the war against GW’s expansionist policies.
Foggy Bottom – All day, every day
Protest brick sidewalks
We all know brick sidewalks are dangerous. Join a riot against the sidewalks to show GW administrators that the sidewalks are lethal.
Streets on campus – 2 to 4 p.m.