Sex Column: Supporting our troops

I love a man in uniform. The armed forces definitely must have had single women in mind when they designed their dress clothes because damn, a nicely toned marine in form-fitting clothes can brighten any day. Thoughts of what is hidden underneath those carefully pressed dress uniforms constantly interrupt my normal class daydreaming. They always look so polished; I’m sure that their attention to detail would translate nicely into performance in the bedroom.

I got my chance to show some love for one of our fine young servicemen this past weekend. My friend GI Jane, who also has an appreciation for our armed forces, went out with me to our favorite bar to blow off some midterm stress. Before I knew it, Jane was off in a dark corner with a guy she picked up, while I was ordering drinks. I was alone, double fisting the drinks. Leaning against the bar, I spotted Prince Charming, an incredibly sexy combination of chivalry and a hint of danger, walking down the stairs. It was my lucky night; GI Jane knew Prince Charming through a mutual marine friend, and not so subtly pushed me in his direction.

Having stubbornly worn my three-inch heels, I literally stumbled into his arms and swooned at how valiantly and easily he caught me. In my opinion, there is nothing sexier than a man with an accent, especially if its southern and he happens to call me ma’am. I have to say, God bless America for giving our boys all the training they need, both on and off the battlefield. Not 20 minutes later I found myself supporting the troops in a whole new way. There is something scandalously orgasmic about making out with a marine in the middle of a bar to bad 80s music.

Next thing I knew it was last call, and decision time. GI Jane had already left and Prince Charming and I were standing in the rain. I grabbed his hand and said with a seductive grin, “My place is this way.” Prince Charming grinned and pulled out an umbrella, proving that even in the face of a certain hookup, chivalry is not dead. We barely made it inside before clothes started flying. I won’t go into details, but one thing’s for sure: Prince Charming definitely does not tire out in battle.

Prince Charming never asked for my number, and I never gave him mine, but its totally OK. Don’t get me wrong, I have lots of support for our troops, but not that much love to go around.

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