With the release of “State of Play” starring Russell Crowe as an intrepid investigative journalist, America’s romance with hard-hitting journalism has been reinvigorated. But not all stories require so much legwork. Some fall into your lap. Literally.
Such was the case Thursday when a stripper showed up to my friend’s birthday party.
Suddenly there was a loud knock on the door, and in walked a policeman with a boom box. The girls squealed. The guys went into hiding.
I staked out a safe place in the kitchen while the stripper – he later introduced himself as Stripper Danny – got up close and personal with the birthday girl.
The music started. Off came the police uniform. And Stripper Danny made his way around the room.
He told the crowd he hails from North Carolina. And true to this Southern roots, he was a total gentleman.
“What’s your name,” he asked one girl as he thrust his pelvis into her face.
She stumbled around to give an answer.
“Nice to meet you,” said Stripper Danny.
How polite. His momma raised him right.
From my hideout in the kitchen, I watched as Stripper Danny climbed up onto the sofa and at a moment of some rather intense moves broke the sofa.
Once the music stopped, Stripper Danny put his clothes back on. But as he made his way to the door, the girls pleaded with him to stick around for a visit.
Some expressed their surprise that Stripper Danny would stick around after he had been paid.
“Oh, this is all about friends,” he said with a grin.
Really? When he was yelling at the girls to stick dollar bills into his thong it didn’t seem like he was all about friendship.
Lest you think that Stripper Danny is some kind of lowlife, let me set the record straight.
“I have a double degree in communications and business,” explained Stripper Danny. He worked in advertising before becoming a model at Abercrombie & Fitch. That proved to be the turning point in his professional development. Soon a colleague suggested that stripping “would be a great compliment” to his career. And Danny began his stripper training.
Yes, strippers get trained.
I asked if he does a lot of dirty dancing at GW.
“Oh, I do lots of GW parties,” he said, calling GW students “cool.”
He explained how he shows up at residence halls – boom box in hand – and gets signed in at the front desk.
Has he been to Thurston before?
“Oh, I know Thurston,” he said with a grin.
He went on to tell about the time that a group of over-excited Thurston girls pulled on his thong so hard that it snapped.
But that wasn’t as awkward as the time he stripped for a 92-year-old woman’s birthday.
Stripper Danny does have some basic rules.
“I try to avoid the biting and the licking,” he explained. “Some women are more wild than others.”
As he regaled us with tales of his late-night adventures, he passed out his card to all the girls. He also took all their phone numbers, asking, “Where am I going to sleep tonight?”
None of the girls took up on his offer.
As he prepared to leave, Stripper Danny wanted to clear up any misconceptions about the stripping industry.
“People have this image of strippers as sleazy guys covered in tattoos,” he said. “But look, I’m a real person.”
With that he picked up his boom box and headed to his next engagement.