Q: Where have you had (or seen) sex on campus?

The answer: quite a few places! Here is our campus map with some of your favorite “landmarks.”

Note: The Hatchet does not condone nor promote sexual activity in academic buildings, on athletic fields, in Kogan Plaza, where people work out, in administrative offices or anywhere not designed to house horizontal bodies.

1. “The backseat of the Vern Express. It was 4 a.m., we were horny and the driver had the radio on. It was some of the best sex I’ve had, actually.”

2. “Yeah, I definitely saw some chick [having anal sex] in the stairwell in Thurston.”

3. “At first it just looked like a lot of skin, but upon closer inspection you could definitely make out two people in the shower really going at it.” (One ninth-floor resident of Thurston describing the scene in the room across from hers out the window).

4. “In the Kogan Plaza gazebo. Yeah, I was walking by and thought to myself, ‘No, it can’t be. But sure enough.”

5. “The only kinky place I’ve heard of is HellWell in the girls’ showers.”

6. “Sixth-floor Gelman stacks is a classic. Also, the sixth-floor guys bathroom is covered in graffiti arranging gay rendezvous.”

7. “This might be bogus, but I’ve heard that someone got it on in Hillel once.”

8. “The H street entrance of the Marvin Center. Not kidding.”

9. “In the fountain in Kogan Plaza. I mean, you know, when it’s empty.”

10. “Put this on the record. Please? OK, I’m a resident of Madison, and I have sex on my roommate’s bed all the time.”

And finally Number 11 with the most impressive range:

11. Gelman, Eckles, soccer field, Law School building, photo lab in Rome/Phillips (I can’t remember which is which), park on campus near Foggy Bottom Grocery, study room in Ivory Tower. If I can think of anyplace else, I’ll let you know.”

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