Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue.

The Buzzkill reported that Stickupyour Ass-ociation presidential candidate Gorgeous Stunner was convicted of second-degree murder before coming to GW. He was actually convicted of first-degree murder.

The Buzzkill erroneously reported that the University was not raising tuition for incoming freshmen. The Buzzkill staff frankly can’t believe anyone would actually think that was accurate, but sadly it was not.

Buzzkill Eggplant in Chief Cleric Groper did not say “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone” (“Inside our pages: I am a Greek God,” Feb. 23). Jesus said the quotation.

The Buzzkill misidentified a person in a photo as University President Steamin Krapp. The person was Whoopi Goldberg.

The Buzzkill misquoted President Obama as saying, “GW Blogspot is the Special Olympics of journalism.” He did not say the quotation, but it is true.