Two Bits

Funny man turned author Eugene Mirman, who plays Eugene on “Flight of the Conchords,” will be at Barnes and Noble in Georgetown Thursday, Feb. 26 at 7:30 p.m. promoting his newly released advice book, “The Will to Whatevs: A Guide to Modern Life.”

Mirman sent two jokes our way.

The first:

People think that children say the darndest things, but so would you, if you had no education. You’d just be like, “I am bike cheese?” Because you wouldn’t know what words meant.

The second:

I was thinking about truth or dare, and what the first dare was. I bet it was a cave man daring a cave woman to throw a burning stick at a monster. And she was like, “Fine truth.” And I bet he was like, “Okay. What you’re biggest fantasy?” And I bet she was like, “Agriculture.”

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