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The GW Hatchet

AN INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SERVING THE GW COMMUNITY SINCE 1904

The GW Hatchet

Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

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Officials name senior vice president, chief of staff
By Fiona Riley, Assistant News Editor • March 26, 2024

Billy’s Competition: Past performers

Jerry Seinfeld’s performance at Colonials Weekend 2006 was a showcase of the comedian’s unique sarcastic humor. “This is the greatest day my life,” he told the audience. “I’m in a gym.”

“I’ll tell you what I do- nothing,” he said of the constant questions about his next projects. Seinfeld generally strayed away from political humor, pausing only to deadpan, “Iraq seems to be going smoothly.”

The Daily Show host Jon Stewart headlined Colonials Weekend in 2005. The event marked Stewart’s return GW after his infamous appearance on CNN’s Crossfire in October of 2004. “I realized afterwards that all I had to do to get rid of something that I didn’t like was say so,” Stewart said of his remarks on Crossfire and the program’s subsequent cancellation. “So. I’m about to abolish your chemistry department.” Stewart also took aim at politicians and Democrats and Republicans. “The Rapture will soon be upon us . only then will the Dems regain control of the House and Senate,” he said.

Dana Carvey performed in 2004. Carvey poked fun at University President Stephen Joel Trachtenberg as well as GW’s high tuition rate. “When I went to San Francisco State, our tuition was 95 dollars a year … and we rioted!” he said. Carvey ended the show with a line GW students were sure to appreciate. “Georgetown rightfully sucks compared to you guys,” he concluded.

Can Crystal take the crown?

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