Nearing the commencement of her fourth year in college, Eve has learned quite a few things about sex. Eve, The Hatchet’s anonymous sex columnist, will share her observations and (sometimes dirty) thoughts about sex at GW with the population that fuels her fire.
Editor’s note: names have been changed to protect the naughty.
This week’s questions were just too good to pass up. For all you lust-lorn lovers out there, I hope my advice helps your week start out with a bang. Check out my blog for the column-that-wasn’t and some moaning and groaning of a not-so-sexy nature. Sigh … if only sex were the cure for a quarter-life crisis. If only sex were the cure for everything!
Dear Eve,
A buddy of mine has lost all his game because last time he had sex with a girl he lasted a whopping three seconds (or maybe three thrusts). What can I do to get him out of this rut?
-Have to Change My Pants Right Now in City Hall
For starters, quit fibbing. I sincerely doubt that your concern for your “buddy” is such that, not only has he divulged his premature ejaculation issue to you, but you are such a good friend that you are reaching out on his behalf. I don’t buy it, Mr. Quickie.
That being said, there are many ways to delay the inevitable! First and foremost, masturbate before a date when you think you might have sex. Just do it. You know that it will relax you, help you to last longer later and give you that lovely, post-orgasm flush. If this is not enough to extend your ejaculation, switch positions during sex. A momentary lapse in full-contact thrusting is like a pause button for the penis. If switching positions fails, pull out for a moment and tug on the testicles gently (gently being the operative word here).
But please, whatever you do, don’t try to think of something else. Many men say that thinking of sports or Margaret Thatcher naked is their tried-and-true method for outlasting their partner’s orgasm. I personally think there are better, and certainly sexier, ways to last. A girl would rather have her man finish quickly and be mentally present than last for days but barely know she’s there.
As for the reported loss of game, I am calling your bluff! Sure, finishing fast can be embarrassing, but it is not the end of sex! First of all, an early ejaculator is great to give head to, and second there are plenty of ways to spit game without spilling everywhere. Be creative, not cowardly.
Dear Eve,
Should I get mad when my boyfriend looks at other girls when I’m with him?
-Feeling Invisible in Ivory
Yes. Smack him. We all look at other people, especially girls, for various reasons. I check out clothing, cleavage and even cannot help but turn my head at the occasional enviable set of legs. But your man should never do more than a normal, human-to-human once over in front of you. When he’s with his friends, let him gawk at all the camel toes he likes. But with you, he should have the self-control to merely glance.
This goes for you, too. None of that, “Do you think she’s prettier than me?” or “Do you wish my boobs were that big?” B.S. If your man is only going to have eyes for you, give him a reason to stare.
Dear Eve,
How do women feel about “manscaping?”
-Think My Penis Looks Bigger Hairless in Hensley
Unless she’s coming up with wads of hair as she scratches her nails down your back, let nature be! Pink used to “manscape” his happy trail and I asked him to stop. I love the feeling of skin on skin, hair on hair, bodies as they should be.
And anyway, it’s girly to remove hair anywhere but your beard and your back. Or your unibrow – but at least be discreet about it!
Have a sex question you want answered? Send your sex-queries to [email protected].
