Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue.

1988:
Pres-elect Stephen Joel Tractor

1989:
Trachtorbutt

1990:
Stephen Joel Trachtorbutt

1991:
Skeevin’ Mole Smackherbutt

1992:
Semen Gel Slappin’Her

1993:
Billy Ray Trachtengerg

1995:
Stir Jo Trakkenburk

1996:
Stevie Ray Vaughan Tractorbutt

1997:
Steven Testesburg

1998:
Steven Jole Trachtenburgh

1999:
Stevie Just Tryingtostayawake

2000:
Dr. Evil/President Scared & Trembling
2001:
Stealing Jiant Tractsofland

2002:
Theieving Yo’ Tuitionmoney

2003:
Smokin Jointswithyour Tuitionmoney

2004:
Sippin Juice in the Trachtenhood

2005:
Stubbly J. Troll

2006:
Stealin’ Your Trachtenbucks

2007:
Supposedly Jobless Trachtenbye