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AN INDEPENDENT STUDENT NEWSPAPER SERVING THE GW COMMUNITY SINCE 1904

The GW Hatchet

Serving the GW Community since 1904

The GW Hatchet

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Officials name senior vice president, chief of staff
By Fiona Riley, Assistant News Editor • March 26, 2024

Roommate experiences: communicating and coping

When junior Geoff Doner came home to his dorm room at the beginning of freshman year, there was a list of rules posted on the front door.

The rules regarded cleanliness and roommate behavior, but it was just the beginning for this quad of freshmen.

“He was a super nice guy,” said Doner, who met and requested to live with the rule-poster along with his other roommates at Colonial Inauguration. “We got along really well doing the CI stuff but midway through the year we realized our living styles were very different.”

Aside from the rules, other irritants from the roommate made living in close quarters difficult. Alarm clocks were never turned off in the morning, gaudy Christmas decorations were put up when no one else in the room wanted them and more rules got posted – now with a two-thirds approval necessary from the members of the quad. Eventually, the conflict with the roommates turned into the silent treatment.

“He was passive aggressive,” said Doner, who added that he mixed well with his other roommates. “He would write messages on toilet paper rolls when the last person hadn’t changed it, which made his comments sound condescending.”

The roommate relationship hit a breaking point when Doner tore down the rules, which he said initiated a lack of communication in the first place, and his roommate decided to transfer.

Incoming students face many unknowns during their freshman year, but there is nothing more pressing than their living situation. There is potential to find best friends in freshman year roommates or to undergo horrendous experiences.

“The roommate from hell can certainly affect a student’s overall experience,” said Marjorie Savage, parent program director at the University of Minnesota and an expert on roommate conflict. “But a roommate who creates ‘challenges’ is not going to ruin the whole year and can even teach great coping skills . plus make for really good stories to share with family and friends for years to come.”

Senior Emily Ryder did not know what kind of roommate situation to expect when she moved into her double on the Mount Vernon Campus her freshman year.

“There was an adjustment period during the first few weeks,” said Ryder, who was randomly placed with her roommate. “We didn’t hang out at all the first week.”

For Ryder, though, all it took was one night of bonding and sharing experiences for the two to become friends. Once they became close, many of the problems that came with being roommates went away, said Ryder, who still counts her freshman year roommate as one of her close friends.

While experiences like Ryder’s are encouraging, a lot of times they are the exception.

Common roommate complaints range from students who bring drugs or alcohol into a dorm room to those who take their roommate’s belongings without permission. The best thing to do, according to students and experts, is to simply talk about these situations.

“It was an unfortunate experience,” Doner said about his freshman year roomhmate. “If we had kept an open line of communication, we could have dealt with the problems when it was still a small situation.”

Savage, from the University of Minnesota, said, “The longer you wait to talk about it, the harder it will be.”

“When you’re talking about a problem, it’s not unusual for six or seven other issues to come up with both of you building on the original problem,” she said.

James Kohl, director of residential life and education for Housing Programs, said “In the unfortunate case where conflicts cannot be resolved we will work with students on a space- available basis to find them a different living arrangement.”

Kohl noted, however, that since the University is operating at 100 percent housing capacity this fall, students who would like to move rooms might have to find another student to swap rooms and roommates.

But there are things to look for that can make students more prepared for dealing with a roommate situation. Kohl suggested that students should “decide what kind of environment they want to live in and make sure they agree with their potential roommates.”

Savage stressed that respect between roommates is important and knowing personal limits and how potential roommates may react to those limits.

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