April Fools’ Issue: The Bar Belle: DJ’s Fast Break

Reader’s note: This story is satirical in nature and published in a spoof issue.

Whhoaa whoa whoa holy shit I’m STARVING give me some motha’ fuckin’ PANCAKES!!!!! I mean, SHIT! Hey, hey hey you know I don’t speak Spanish! Hey can I get me some chickin with that? No? Not with pancakes? How about on a bagel? WITH RICE!

RICE, NOODLE, BAGEL, G-WORLD!!! ????PANCAKE!!!?

Whoa ok now. I think I need something with some substance to soak up all the alkeeeeehawl, ‘ya know? BACON! Yea, that’s it!

?Can I have some mystery sauce on my pancakes? ?Can you make them nanner pancakes!?

“?Qu??

“??HABLAS INGLES EL PANCAKE!?”

Listen, listen listen to me. Your floor is fucking filthy. Clean that shit.

I gotta go to the bathroom- wait, I have to go upstairs? There’s an upstairs? Do you live up there? Ohhhh ho ho ho! Tricky tricky!

I’ll also have a green nanner (that’s code for bananner.)

Hey! Hey you, over there! I know you! We had STAT together! Hey, what’s the standard deviation of ??Peanut Sauce??

WOW! What a great selection of beverages! NANTUCKET- more like NAN-FUCK-IT!

CHOCO_MILK! Mmmmmm 0 wait, that doesn’t mix well with alcahol- that’s throw up right there, son.

???Where are your forks!?!? I need a fork!!!

(and a knife)

These better not be microwaved pancakes, either. I can tell the difference! My tastebuds are to breakfast like puppies are to breakfast…?or something like that?

?Hey, do you sell beer? CERVEZA! ?S?? ?No?

Belle Rating

4 Belles

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