“The lucky ones die first.”

So reads the tagline for “The Hills Have Eyes,” Alexandre Aja’s remake of Wes Craven’s 1977 version of the same name.

The film concerns nuclear weapons testing by the U.S. government in the desert of New Mexico during the 1940s, 50s and 60s. Those who stuck around during the bombings were left with horrifying mutations and gross disfigurations (think Sloth from “The Goonies”). These mutants, complete with giant tumors and extra appendages, roam that very same desert preying on unsuspecting tourists.

Cue the Carters, a typical, slightly dysfunctional, American family roadtripping to California to celebrate the silver anniversary of their parents, played by Ted Levine (“Silence of the Lambs”) and Kathleen Quinlan (“Apollo 13”). Things, naturally, go bad when a shady gas station attendant sets them up to become stranded in the desert, making them breakfast, lunch, dinner and perhaps even a midnight snack for the hungry cannibals.

Moviegoers beware: this film contains about as much gore as the stomach can handle. Starting with the first in-your-face scene, it’s a never-ending bloodbath sure to have audience members cringing. It’s one of those movies that will make you feel like you need a good shower after you leave the theater. If you thought “Hostel” was gory, just remember that it didn’t contain cannibalism.

The constant threat of human carnage lurks around every turn as well as the threat of a few horny mutants who are looking to get their kicks with the film’s females. Speaking of mutants, the makeup and costume design used to create these creatures is phenomenally gross. These are the type of creatures that haunt your nightmares.

Premiering in an era where bad horror remakes are an unfortunate trend in Hollywood (“When a Stranger Calls,” “Texas Chainsaw Massacre”), this film does the original a fair amount of justice. Perhaps it’s because Craven had his hand in the project from the very beginning. It’s both suspenseful and intensely shocking, making it difficult to predict which members of the Carter family will survive (unless you’ve seen the original) and making unlikely heroes out of a few characters.

The film, however, falls short on a few levels. For one, the seemingly smartest member of the Carter clan, played by Dan Byrd, fails to open his mouth when he notices some strange things happening in the desert. As a result, half his family gets wiped out. Too bad.

There is, of course, the clich?d “make-sure-the-dude-is-dead-before-you-turn-your-back” element that appears more than once in this flick, causing audience members to moan and groan at the stupidity of the characters.

Overall, the movie is not bad nor is it exceptionally good. As long as your stomach can handle the intense gore, then this is a film worth seeing. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a shower to take.

“The Hills Have Eyes” opens nationwide Friday, March 10.