Tyler Hahn: Not afraid to say ‘Merry Christmas’

As we enter into the Christmas season, so do we again inevitably enter into our annual battle against the godless secular left. Each and every Christmas season, the stories of anti-Christmas (more broadly, anti-Christian) attacks grow more absurd.

In a widely underreported debacle, Wal-Mart’s true colors (primarily Communist Red), have begun to show through. After an associate greeted a customer with “Happy Holidays,” rather than the traditional “Merry Christmas,” the customer complained to the store’s management. In an e-mail response to the complainant, a customer service associate stated, “The majority of the world still has different practices other than ‘Christmas,’ which is an ancient tradition that has its roots in Siberian shamanism. The colors associated with ‘Christmas’ red and white are actually a representation of the amanita mascera mushroom.” Christmas celebrators were further angered when it was discovered that upon entry of the word “Christmas” into the Wal-Mart online search engine, they were directed to a “Holiday” page to find gifts. When “Kwanza” was entered 77 search results were returned, and “Hanukkah” returned 200 products. Apparently Wal-Mart feels the pseudo-holiday of “Kwanza” (I add pseudo not to be inflammatory, but to point out the ludicrous nature of a race-based holiday), and “Hanukkah” are less offensive to Americans (77 percent of whom are self-identified Christians). In response, the Christmas category has recently been added back onto Wal-Mart’s website.

WorldNetDaily reported that in Denver last Christmas season, the annual Parade of Lights “Holiday Parade” included a Native American GLBT float, belly dancers and the Colorado Mestizo Dancers. Though this was a holiday parade, gay Indians and belly dancers were welcomed to participate while Christian groups hoping to sing Christmas Carols and display “Merry Christmas” signs were banned. Parade spokesman Michael Krikorian explained that the event does not allow “direct religious themes,” so as not to offend religious and cultural sensibilities (except those of Christians, of course).

In Plano, Texas, school administrators last year banned a student from distributing candy cane-shaped pens that displayed a religious message. They also prohibited students from wearing red to their “holiday” parties. The school even banned students from writing “Merry Christmas” and other similarly Christmassy greetings on cards they sent to U.S. soldiers who are fighting overseas. It appears that the ACLU (Anti-Christian Lawsuit Union), which annually sues school districts and municipalities for allowing Christmas spirit to infiltrate their ranks, has scared even the American heartland into a secular monstrosity.

Stores across the country have stripped all Christmas themes from their advertising. Such stores include Target, Home Depot, Wal-Mart, Kmart, Sears, Costco, Kohl’s, Barnes & Noble, Toys ‘R’ Us and KB Toys (to mention just a few). Some stores have even prohibited employees, as Macy’s and Bloomingdale’s did last year, from wishing customers “Merry Christmas.” Target continues to ban the Salvation Army kettles and bell ringers from collecting charitable donations for the poor. Many stores now advertise with blue, silver and other “wintry” colors so as to avoid acknowledging Christmas. Even the United States Postal Service, which has for years produced stamps with beautiful and historic paintings of Madonna and Child, this year halted production of “religious stamps” in favor of pictures of “holiday cookies.”

Across the country, cities have non-religious lighting ceremonies of “Holiday Trees.” In Boston, Mayor Thomas Menino declared the fur tree sitting in Boston Common to be a “holiday tree.” A spokesman for the small town in Nova Scotia, Canada, that donated the tree said, “It was a Christmas Tree when it left here.” According to the Boston Herald, the Canadian lumberjack who, probably in a wintry spirit, donated the tree to the city said that he would have fed the 36-year-old white spruce to the wood chipper if had he known it would be misnamed. House Speaker Dennis Hastert this week wrote a letter to the architect of the U.S. Capitol strongly urging the renaming of the conifer located the building to be renamed a Christmas tree, after it was termed a “holiday tree” during the Clinton Administration.

All of these attacks amount to a war on Christmas, and are unbefitting of a nation where a large majority of the population is Christian, and 96 percent of the population celebrates Christmas (2005 Opinion Dynamics poll).

In this season of the birth of Christ the lord our savior, I wish you all a very Merry Christmas.

-The writer, a sophomore majoring in Middle East studies, is a Hatchet columnist.

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