The best of the crime report

Each week, The Hatchet meets with University Police officials and compiles a crime log listing student crimes and misdemeanors that UPD and other authorities respond to throughout the week. Some are bizarre, others serious – perhaps you’ll make it in the log as the freshman who entered Thurston covered in vomit.
To introduce new students to the crime log, here is a list of some of the more humorous incidents – in which people were not seriously harmed – from the past two years.


3/5/05 – West End – open case
A man walked into the wrong room and picked up a pair of female shoes while the residents were home. The shoes have been recovered.


10/28/04 – 2100 block of H Street 12:39 a.m. – case closed
During the celebration following the Red Sox’s World Series victory, a male student was seen jumping on the roof of a car parked near Kogan Plaza.
Referred to Student
Judicial Services

Fireworks Violation

4/11/05 – Gelman Library
open case
A male was startled after someone threw a firecracker at the seat next to him while he was studying. The suspects could not be found.
Referred to SJS


10/22/04 – Fulbright Hall
12:18 a.m. – case closed
A student punched through a glass pane and injured himself after losing a bet on a video game. Lacerations present on his arm and wrist required attention from EMeRG.
Referred to SJS


10/27/03 – Crawford Hall
11:53 p.m. – case closed
Two female roommates got into a dispute via an online instant messaging program.
Referred to SJS

Liquor Law Violation

2/13/05 – City Hall
3:45 a.m. – case closed
A male student was found unconscious on the 10th floor, lying in a pool of his own vomit.
Referred to SJS


3/3/05 – Health and Wellness Center case closed
Staff reported pornography taped up in the men’s locker room shower.
No suspects or witnesses

Simple Assault

9/11/04 – Smith Center
case closed
A female swimmer asked a male to move over a lane in the lap pool. The male then grabbed the floating noodle from under her and hit her with the device.

Unlawful Entry

5/2/05 – Medical Faculty Associates 2:00 a.m. – case closed
UPD responded to a report of someone locking himself in the bathroom. The male tried to leave the bathroom and officers caught him, recognized him as someone who was earlier barred from campus and arrested him.
Subject barred.

-compiled by Ryan Holeywell and Katie Rooney

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