Column: Taking their eyes off the ball

In the spirit of the approaching holiday season, I thought I would take the time to be a little gracious in this week’s column. Well, to start at least. I first wanted to apologize to the dozens of hostile OC fans offended by a gaffe I made in my last column. At one point while watching the OC premiere I fell asleep and failed myself by jumping to the conclusion that Seth and Ryan were cousins. I guess I thought it would make more sense than having them be random strangers. Silly me.
I also wanted to thank the folks at the Student Activities Center for throwing me a softball this week for a column topic. Sometimes it’s not easy to harness such acrimony into a weekly column, but yet again, I’ve been blessed.
So for all students who want to give back to the community at-large over the holidays, perhaps by raising money for breast cancer awareness, you better be careful which students you associate yourself with or you might become the target of a Greek-letter life witch hunt. Of the innumerably absurd things I’ve witnessed SAC do over the past three-and-a-half years, nothing compares to this latest transgression.
For those who didn’t know or didn’t care, the director of the Student Activities Center, armed with his Greek-letter life lackeys, decided to interrupt a charity kickball tournament held by the Greek-letter organization Kappa Kappa Gamma on Nov. 7. The tournament was held as an event based on raising funds for a breast cancer prevention and awareness.
Why would such a thing be done in the midst of such a benevolent philanthropic initiative? Maybe SAC felt threatened if students actually showed up for an event held on campus.
Any of these selfish rationales might have made more sense in the scheme of the big picture. But instead, the motivation for the Student Activities Center’s interference was based on one singular objective: satiating their vanity. The Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority, as it had in the past, garnered more support for their benefit by including members outside of the so-called recognized Greek-letter community. But this year, SAC ejected three independently registered teams because the rosters of these teams were mainly comprised of members of rogue unrecognized fraternities whose members do nothing but plague our campus community by participating in charity events.
This kickball tourney had one focus, which was to get a community of students together to do something positive. For SAC to state that that Greek-letter organizations have a monopoly on community service is petty, fatuous and most notably, it is morally reprehensible.
It is, at a minimum, understandable that the overseers of Greek-letter life would put forth a directive to keep sororities from engaging in social events with unrecognized fraternities. However, excluding students from community service events is an embarrassment to both the standards of this University and to the members of the independent student body who did not attend this event to undermine the sanctity of Greek-letter life, but rather to support friends and benefit the community at large.
This intrusion by the Student Activities Center was exceptionally tactless for the host sorority that put forth considerable effort to hold a charity event. For this function to be interrupted in the middle by the same governing bodies that are designated to support Greek-letter life only further attests to the level of self-importance and vanity with which these bodies regard themselves. If this is the standard that unrecognized fraternities are chastised for not adhering to, then I can’t blame any of them that choose not to waste their time dealing with the unnecessary restraints and strong-arming of University recognition.
On a parting note, I would just like to say that the LaRouche cult members are back in full effect on campus again. Suggestions to confuse them are the following: shout ear-piercing indictments at them such as “heretics” and “baby killers,” imitate any of the numerous Terrell Owens touchdown celebration dances when approached, or try to engage them in a deadly game of tongue chicken. Either that, or call the Student Activities Center to complain that members of unrecognized Greek-letter fraternities are involved in the campaign and in turn, SAC will purge Kogan Plaza of all people within a 500-foot radius.
-The writer, a senior majoring in Middle East studies, is a Hatchet humor columnist.

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