Forum: John Kerry speaks on campus

For all of us who follow politics with either a religious or sexual devotion – for me it’s both – two Thursdays ago was the perfect day. Last week the word went out across D.C. that the next President of the United States was coming to GW. About damn time something like this happened here.

So the College Dems and their kick ass membership swung into action and brought about a thriving, enthusiastic crowd.

But don’t fear all you Republicans. Sure, the College Dems brought about thousands of students, but the CRs weren’t going to let such a turnout go unanswered. The word quickly went through the D.C. Republican lines to get out a crowd and stand up for George Bush. About 20 people showed up.

But those 20 sure did have a lot of bite. With such original chants as “four more years,” the group proudly waved their signs showing their support of George Bush. Wait, when did this become an anti-abortion rally? Yes, as is the case in most attempts at legitimate Republican rhetoric, it was soon drowned out by “Abortion is homicide” and for all those non-English speaking conservatives up here “Pro-vida, sin excepciones.”

But don’t worry too much. The dignified Republicans in the crowd did have their say. Those Republicans who were focused on the real issues proudly waved “John Kerry for French President” and “Give France Kerry.” How sad. I hate to break it to you guys, but this isn’t the local truck stop in Alabama. Nobody gives a damn about France. Those who do are probably too stupid to know how to read your sign anyway. But hell, if y’all want to run on France hatred, be my guest. I’m just going to miss the Statue of Liberty if Bubba’s Truck Stop actually does swing the election.

But enough about the Republicans; bring on John Kerry. Damnit, Trachtenberg has to speak first. And damnit, is he boring! Did he really just call this “an outdoor classroom”? Surely nobody could be more boring than this.

But then Kerry spoke. Now that was boring. He didn’t even say “bring it on!” which I was counting on for the climax of my experience – and interpret climax as you will given my first sentence. Watching Kerry speak was a blatant reminder that Democrats voted with their heads, not their hearts this primary season. And poor Howard Dean was standing there knowing that if he had been nominated, we would’ve at least gotten a good scare if nothing else.

But it’s not Kerry’s job to be exciting; it’s his job to win. Just like it’s not Trachtenberg’s job to giving rousing introduction speeches; it’s his job to give us apples during finals time.

Although Kerry does not have the Dean inspiration nor the charm of Edwards, he is right on the issues and has the track record to beat George Bush. In November voters will have the choice between a sturdy, Vietnam veteran who has stood for the people his entire life or a bumbling ideologue who spent his Vietnam years AWOL from the “champagne unit” and the remainder of his life working for the rich elitist. This election is going to be a joke, and even France won’t be able to save the Republicans.

-The writer, a sophomore majoring in international affairs, is a Hatchet
contributing editor.