The Morning After: The fundamentals of foreplay

Chick

Foreplay’s overrated. Yes, you want to get each other hot before sex, but people tend to fall into routines and it makes fooling around more like a ritual. “Now he’s going to squeeze my right boob and kiss my neck. And while he lays me down on the bed, he’s going to nibble on my ear and start taking off my belt …”

You can be more adventurous and “experiment” with new things, but the truth is, there are really only so many places on a woman’s body to lick and kiss and fondle. So if you really want to heat things up, you don’t necessarily have to find a new way to touch your girl when your hand is down her pants. You’ve got to think outside the bedroom.

If the only place you ever have sex is on the bed (and the occasional move to the couch does not count), then I guarantee she’s already bored. It’s true what they say about public places – the risk of getting caught makes it a lot more exciting.

Think about it:-what’s hotter than your guy holding you up against a wall while he slips underneath your skirt for a quickie? It doesn’t really matter where you are: International House’s roof, The Hatchet’s dark room, Thurston’s laundry room … it’s more thrilling than hand jobs in a dorm while your roommate pretends to sleep five feet away.

No one should underestimate the necessity of foreplay. The question, though, is when foreplay really begins. Foreplay is incredibly important. It is the critical point to see if you will be successful in getting your rocks off.

Dick

No one should underestimate the power of buying a girl a drink, which is the ultimate lubricant to which foreplay translates to. So now you have both her mind and body on the right track to being in the mood. Once you end up back in her room, then the choices begin. A good trick is to gauge the quality of the day’s catch. The safest method is to slip a finger down below her for a couple minutes, which she won’t mind, and then slyly smell your fingers to see if it could possibly be bearable to go down there for real.

The other option is what I call ear foreplay. There are lots of nerves in the lobes of the ear so if you gently rub them and pull her towards your penis, then with any luck at all she will inhale your penis and foreplay will be done. The last part is the escape. The best method is to relax her to sleep by rubbing her back, but make sure your arm isn’t under her because there is nothing worse than the coyote syndrome – needing to chew your arm off rather than spend the night. Wait for the heavy breathing and quietly leave because the best foreplay for next time is good endplay.

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