The Help Line

I made a new friend in one of my classes and she seemed really cool at the time, but she continually talks about herself. We’ve hung out a few times, but she’s never once asked about me. It feels weird to “self-promote” what I’ve been up to, but I’m tired of only listening. Still, I’m reluctant to throw away the friendship. What should I do?

A. This “friendship” doesn’t sound like a friendship at all, but a one-sided talk-fest. You are a new friend, not a therapist, and there is no excuse for never asking how someone is (or asking and then not bothering to listen). A decent friendship requires some level of caring on both sides, so I would be wary of a “friend” who doesn’t seem to be interested in the other person’s life from the get-go. Things aren’t likely to change, especially since most people try to impress new friends and wait at least a few weeks before feeling more comfortable to be themselves. Understand that it’s OK to keep this girl as a strictly class friend (i.e., someone you sit with in class and study with, but that’s all). It’s a good thing you didn’t invest too much time and effort into this friendship before the other shoe dropped.

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