Like Christmas, Valentine’s Day has been snatched from the street and into the van of corporate exploitation and greed, smacked around a bit, and left on the side of the road, bruised and battered.

Below is a list of films and albums that offer skewed, warped and even perverse points of view on love and loss for those of us who will be excusing ourselves from Valentine’s Day celebrations.

FILMS

“Annie Hall”
Woody Allen’s Oscar-winning comedy (it beat “Star Wars” for Best Picture in 1977) offers a story of lost love as sardonic, hilarious and bent as its writer/director.
Choice Quote: “Don’t knock masturbation; it’s sex with someone I love.”

“Sid and Nancy”
Gary Oldman, in his first feature role, plays Sex Pistols bassist Sid Vicious, with Chloe Webb as his girlfriend, Nancy Spungen. Oldman delivers an enthralling performance in this film about the star-crossed lovers’ perverse life and appalling end.
Choice Quote: “What about the farewell drugs?”

“High Fidelity”
John Cusack waxes philosophical about his inability to maintain any meaningful relationships with women. But the film belongs to Jack Black, whose supporting performance here remains his best.
Choice Quote: “Which came first, the music or the misery?”

“True Romance”
If there’s one man who was born to write a story about true love in the midst of drug dealers, ruthless mobsters and a stoned Brad Pitt, it’s Quentin Tarantino. Tarantino penned the film, which was directed by Tony Scott.
Choice Quote: “I’m gonna go jump in the tub and get all slippery and soapy and then hop in that waterbed and watch X-rated movies until you get your ass back in my lovin’ arms.”

“Fight Club”
It’s hard to discuss this film’s love story without ruining the ending for those poor saps who have not yet seen it. I’ll leave it at the quote.
Choice Quote: “My God, I haven’t been fucked like that since grade school.”

MUSIC

Weezer – Pinkerton
Weezer’s masterfully crafted second album is an enigma, due to its pop-edged discography. Songs about sweaters and islands in the sun are notably absent from this extraordinarily heavy exploration of betrayal, sex and longing.
Choice Lyric: “Oh, how I need a hand in mine to feel.”

U2 – Achtung Baby
While this album’s sunnier songs (“Mysterious Ways,” “One”) became its best-known hits, in its entirety Achtung Baby is far darker than any of U2’s more popular material. It’s an essay on alienation, desperation and duplicity written in the shadow of guitarist The Edge’s divorce.
Choice Lyric: “You put your lips to her lips/To stop the lies.”

Beck – Sea Change
Beck’s somber, arresting album (his first after September 11) is a collection of slow-tempo, acoustic-based anti-ballads that echo the time’s sense of hopelessness and depression.
Choice Lyric: “These days I barely get by/I don’t even try.”

Cake – Fashion Nugget
Sacramento’s sardonic court jesters sing surprisingly sad songs and waltzes about desolation (“The Distance”) and redemption (a fantastic cover of Gloria Gaynor’s “I Will Survive) on this pop gem.
Choice Lyric: “To me, coming from you/Friend is a four-letter word.”