Battle of the Sexes

Question: I’ve been dating a guy for more than a year and I’m starting to get bored. I’d feel bad if I broke up with him just for being dull, especially since I didn’t used to feel this way. Is there a way to renew my interest in him, or should I not even bother?

Chick: Realize that at some point all relationships lose their initial “newness” and it gets harder to keep things fresh. The remedy for this stale-bread state is deciding whether you want to bother fixing things. If you have completely lost interest in this guy, don’t kill yourself trying to spice things up out of guilt. But if you are still interested in keeping the relationship alive, then talk to him. Tell him you’ve noticed that things have gotten a little too comfortable but you’re willing to work on it. Then be true to your word and whip out the sex toys. There’s no right or wrong answer, but first decide what you really want.

Dick: A year is a long time, but honestly, you are in college – go get boned by some interesting, hot or just plain easy dudes. If it turns out that Jimbo with no personality is your man, it doesn’t sound like anyone else will have claimed him when you come back to scoop him up. As far as spicing up the sex, there’s nothing better than breakup sex. But a good way to make things more interesting is to have sex outside the box (and the bedroom). Up against the side of Abraham Lincoln’s chair is a good place, but the best is the hippo on 21 and H streets. The arch in the hippo’s back allows for perfect doggy-style positioning. Either way, you need a change.

Question: Do breaks ever actually work out? I’m going through a rough patch with a guy, and he wants a break so he can “figure some things out.” Is there any point in giving him space or time to figure things out, or am I just prolonging the inevitable?

Chick: It’s best to prepare for the worst and expect nothing, because you don’t want to screw yourself over by assuming time is all your guy needs before he’s banging down your door again. There are plenty of weasels out there who think that “break up” and “take a break” are synonymous with each other, and then there are the guys who legitimately need some time for themselves. If you still want this relationship to work, give your guy some space but put a limit on it – like a few weeks – and tell him he has to give you an answer by then.

Dick: You’re definitely giving him the opportunity to bone that hot freshman in one of his classes. Maybe that will get this restlessness out of his system and have him running back to a committed relationship, maybe not. If you are granting breaks, you might as well take advantage of it and fulfill some of your fantasies; otherwise it’s a lost cause. Breaks don’t work, but they can be a lot of fun.

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