Q:When my boyfriend is going down on me, it lasts for so long that I can’t really tell when I orgasm. How do I know? Every girl I know says she has at least three or four orgasms while getting head. How can I tell if this is happening to me?
Chick: If you were orgasming, I think you would know. Just because he’s been working on you for a while does not necessarily mean you will climax. The best thing to do is try a little experimentation yourself and figure out what gets you off. Then tell him about it the next time he goes down on you. It might be a little awkward to give him some pointers, so try sandwiching each tip (or constructive criticism) in between two compliments. In the long run, he’ll be grateful and you’ll (finally) be satisfied.
Dick: Well, it shouldn’t be that hard for you to tell. When your back arches and you start shaking like a 19-year-old in line at McFaddens, that’s usually a good indication that progress has been made. If you don’t get that much out of it, why not just have your boyfriend skip it, then give him head and call it a night. The other option is to just start having sex – you’ll probably be able to tell more easily that way. Maybe it’s a problem figuring out the feeling while on your back, so you could flip over and do it in the butt. Either way, figure it out or let him get on with his evening.
Q: I really like this guy from back home with whom I’ve been friends for a while, and now I’ve fallen for him. We’re always really flirtatious and I don’t know if he feels the same way I do. How can I find out if he only thinks of me as a friend or as something more when we’re so far away? I would be willing to have a long-distance relationship with him.
Chick: If things are really flirtatious between the two of you, when you’re apart and especially when you’re together, then there’s a good chance he does feel the same way you do. The issue, then, is if he would be willing to begin a long-distance relationship. Beware of the complications of nursing a relationship when you’re hours apart. If you’re up for the challenge, then the next time you two are together, broach the subject. Perhaps you could ask him what he thinks it would be like if you two were a couple, and then listen to his response. If his answer is “We would be great, but we’re too far away,” maybe you should wait until the summer. If you waited, you would have a couple of months of building a foundation for your relationship, which would give your relationship a better chance of surviving the school year.
Dick: No one should ever be willing to have a long-distance relationship. In the meantime, find someone to take your mind off him. There are plenty of options – you could go for the one-time hookup, or you could go to a friend for a steady hookup. There is no incentive for your friend to begin a long-distance relationship, and clearly he has no desire to. Starting a long-distance relationship is like buying a new car with no motor – it has the new car smell, but when you go to turn the key nothing is there and you end up having to find alternative means to get there.