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When Gary Livacari suggested that we write on the White House leak, I panicked. There was a leak? I didn’t hear anything about it. Fortunately, though, I keep stacks of old newspapers in my room in desperate hopes that one day a fire burns down The Schenley, leaving the University no choice but to let me bunk with GW President Stephen Joel Trachtenberg.

Briefly put, here is what I discovered: Ambassador Joe Wilson committed the unpatriotic act of speaking facts in the presence of the Bush administration officials, so a top White House official repaid him by leaking the name of Wilson’s wife, a “non-official cover” CIA officer. Bob “I defend McCarthyism” Novak eagerly printed this compromise of national security in a column, giving me yet another reason to hate him, other than his enormous head.

Naturally, our commander in chief was outraged. Speaking about the leak, President George W. Bush declared, “I want to tell you something – leaks of classified information are a bad thing.” Leaking the name of a CIA officer not only undermines the men and women defending our nation, but it is legally an act of treason. So yes, Mr. President, it is “a bad thing.”

But while Bush was busy flooring us with his stunning rhetoric, conservatives were – and still are – doing everything to downplay a crime against our nation. They argue that it’s not that big of a deal, that Valerie Plame wasn’t important, or that John Ashcroft will be able to mount an effective investigation even though he has paid the chief suspect, Karl Rove, $746,000 over the years for various campaigns. Rush Limbaugh even went so far as to suggest that perhaps the Clintons made calls to produce the leak, but that may have been the painkillers talking.

We all know those arguments are total bull, but it is understandable. For Republicans, even national security is politics, so of course they are going to try to cover themselves by pretending that treason is not that big a deal. Just call us if the president gets a girlfriend.

My question is, why didn’t I know about all of this? OK, I actually did, but that’s because I’m obsessed with bad things happening to Karl Rove. Where is the media frenzy? You’d think that since the “liberal” media’s entire goal is to bring about the destruction of America, they’d still be all over this one.

For all you conservatives out there, I want you to think (I know it’s hard) about what would be happening right now if Bill Clinton were president. Not only would the media be showing their leftist tendencies by not covering the investigation live 24/7, but the leak would have been authorized by President Clinton himself in yet another attempt to bring America to its knees so that Satan can finally have his way with the world.

I thought this leak would fulfill my dreams of seeing Rove taken out of the White House in handcuffs. Instead, a month later, all we have is conservatives shrugging off treason, a fake investigation, Novak’s big head and media too afraid of idiotic conservative accusations of bias to cover the story. The leaker has and will get away with treason thanks to this lax attitude. Chalk up another point for this administration under the “miserable failure” column.

-The writer, a sophomore majoring in international affairs, is a Hatchet contributing editor.

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