Q: I know we’ve only been at school for two weeks now, but I really think one of my roommates is bulimic. Whether we stay in and eat or go out, she always makes a beeline for the bathroom. She’s also red-faced a lot of the time when she leaves the bathroom, and I know she takes diuretics because I’ve seen a bottle of them by her bed. I feel like I should approach her, but then, again this is such a personal issue and I don’t know her well enough yet. What should I do?
Chick: This is a tricky one, because bulimia is a very serious issue and equally difficult to address. If you were to find the courage to confront your roommate, not only would there be the problem of finding the right words to say, but there would also be the problem of deciphering her response. If she becomes embarrassed and flat-out denies purging and perhaps even grows defensive, you could read it as she is bulimic but doesn’t want to discuss it, or that she truly isn’t and is surprised by the “accusation.”
Either way, this girl is on a dangerous route with those diuretic pills and, if anything, that should be the issue you address. Unfortunately, people who don’t want help won’t change their unhealthy habits, and so even if she admits she has a dependency on diuretics, it doesn’t necessarily mean you could “save” her. The best thing you can do is make it clear that you are a trustworthy person and a good listener.
Once you’ve developed more of a friendship with her, not only will it be easier to confront her without her feeling that you’ve invaded her privacy, she will probably be more open to talk about it.
Dick: I’m just throwing out answers here, but the bottom line is, you have to help. Clearly she is not helping herself, and she has already hurt her body. The trick will be to do it in a way that won’t result in her being embarrassed around you afterward. This is a problem that you really shouldn’t handle on your own, and seeking outside assistance is probably imperative in this case. The fact that you barely know her doesn’t matter. Someone has to do something, and you are the closest to the issue.
Q:I’ve been with my boyfriend a while, and it’s not that the sex isn’t good, but sometimes I wish we could try new things. I would really like to try and have a threesome with another guy, but I don’t know how to ask my boyfriend about it without him feeling insulted. Any tips?
–Bored in bed
Chick: There is more of a problem of insulting your boyfriend with the question of a threesome than, say, asking to use handcuffs next time. The first thing to do is buy/rent/find some porn that involve threesomes and casually look it over with your boyfriend (try to mix it up with regular twosomes too, so it’s not obvious you’re subtly hinting something). Then, in the same casual way, ask your boyfriend what he thinks about threesomes. If he thinks they’re gross, drop the subject and start developing a list of other things to spice up your love life with, hey – why NOT the handcuffs? If he says he’s not sure, admit that they kind of turn you on and see what he says to that. Assure him it’s not because you don’t love him but because it would simply be a new experience, and take it from there. And if he says that he, too, has always been intrigued by a menage-a-trois, you have nothing to worry about but choosing who that lucky third guy should be.
Dick: Trying new things is great, but having another dude join in is not. A much better idea is to have another girl join in; it will make everyone feel a lot more comfortable. The best way is not to ask and to just have a second girl show up and join in. Another dude would just complicate the issue. There is really not room for two penises; there would always be one left out unless you are a backdoor family. There are plenty of ways to conveniently satisfy both ladies, with all the different limbs we were provided with. Remember two penises don’t make a right.